Smirnoff Madras (1974)

Here we go again!

The Madras (how to do what we couldn’t)
People who mean well are always advising us to mix Smirnoff with something it ought to mix with but doesn’t. We’ve got a whole list of promising possibilities that always turn out yukky.
Cranberry juice used to be in the number one spot. Then an interested bystander combined it with orange juice and Smirnoff and invented a good drink called the Madras. We hope it was just beginner’s luck. Because we’d hate to be shown up twice. 
To make a Madras, pour 1.5 oz Smirnoff, 3 oz of cranberry juice and 1.5 oz of orange juice into a glass of ice and stir.

It was at this very moment Liz realized she had to leave Russ. The chocolate frosting took her back to college and that summer on the Cape–the sun and sand and stolen kisses in the storage room of Ye Old Fudge Shoppe where she worked with Carrie. She never loved Russ. It’s always been Carrie. 
The cake is for her mother-in-law’s birthday celebration, which is not the best time to announce that she’s a lesbian. So she’ll wait until after the party to ask Russ for a divorce. In the meantime, she’ll have another Madras. To make a Madras, pour 1.5 oz Smirnoff, 3 oz of cranberry juice, and 1.5 oz orange juice into a glass of ice and stir.

I can’t believe Theo convinced me to buy this piece of shit house. Fixer-upper, my ass–it’s nearly uninhabitable. And he thinks he can do it all himself like Bob fucking Vila. OH, yeah Theo–you go down to the Ace Hardware and buy some more PVC pipe. You can’t even hang a door, but sure–you can totally fix that plumbing! Why am I painting the cabinets?  I’m going to pour Theo a Madras: 1.5 oz Smirnoff, 3 oz of cranberry juice, and 1.5 oz orange juice on ice. Add a float of turpentine. He won’t notice. 

Welcome to the mess that is my kitchen!

Who needs fancy presentation when you take the time to squeeze fresh orange juice?

Mr. Sauce loved the Madras. He may have had multiples that night.

Closing thoughts on the Madras:

1. Yukky? This is an alternate spelling of yucky? Weird.
2. Isn’t cranberry juice and vodka like, a thing? I mean, isn’t that a Cape Cod or Cape Codder? Don’t tons of people drink that?
3. Smirnoff, although it originated in Russia, it is owned and produced by the British company Diageo. So, don’t come at me.
4. Seriously, who the hell was writing the copy on these things?