I’ve been waiting for a good reason to bust out card No. 167 Picnic Beef Roll. And I found the perfect occasion–it’s International Picnic Day! (OK, yesterday was technically International Picnic Day–but I totally forgot to post this. Sue me).
Of course I’d want to share this with the world! Look at it!
Granted, it took me a while to figure out exactly what I was looking at. Mountains. A basket of bread. A tub of butter? The center of roll has an aspic-like sheen and what looks to be a fruit-cocktail center.
But there isn’t any aspic.
Nor any fruit cocktail.
I couldn’t find a 2 pound flank steak. So I opted for a .88 lb top round steak, which the internet told me would be a reasonable substitute.
I did all my slicing and dicing and filling and rolling.
But then I had to somehow figure out how to tie the fucker up. So I found this video.
So much stuffing and stretching and pulling and rolling.
Lord knows how many times I had to watch the video and how long I was trying to wrangle this damn piece of beef.
But I triumphed. I eventually got all of the veggies to stay in there.
So this is the Picnic Beef Roll once it was browned and put in a mix of water, beef broth, wine, pepper corns, bay leaves, parsley and celery:
Here is the Picnic Beef Roll after simmering for over 2 hours:
After being cooked and chilled in the fridge overnight, the Picnic Beef Roll looked like a bit of petrified human, complete with bones sticking out.
C’mon–the green onion totally looks like a bone with marrow!
How very Hannibal of me.
The sliced Picnic Beef Roll didn’t look anything like the card–it doesn’t have an aspic gloss–it’s just…dry. And sad.
There wasn’t anything attractive about the Picnic Beef Roll. I don’t think I even tried to get Mr. Sauce, Esq. to taste it. Just looking at it I knew he’d hate it.
How was it?
It tasted as it looked–dry. And sad.
I mean, I hated it. I don’t know if it was the cut of the beef or the filling or the cooking method, but this was bad. I tried to slather it in mustard, but I couldn’t eat it.
At least the pretzel buns, the potato salad (neither of which I made) and the stuffed peppers from Bella Roma of Colonia, NJ were tasty.
What a pathetic looking plate that is.
The 1973 series is now 0-3 when it comes to their questionable takes on the sandwich.
What did the Marjon Promotions people have against the sandwich? They couldn’t stop fucking with them. Adding lots of pickles does not a good sandwich make!
Here’s the proof:
International Picnic Day post from 2020:
And another from November of 2020:
I hope to god I’m through all the sandwich cards. I don’t think I can justify butchering any more perfectly fine rolls in the name of Marjon Promotions.
That looks like it might work as an open-faced sandwich, smothered with a beef gravy. And the “Hannibal” vibe hit me long before you mentioned it!
I never thought I would actively root for aspic to make an appearance, but here we are
That was a lot of work for it to turn out disappointing 🙁 Your stuffed roll technique is impressive. It sliced beautifully!
Not your fault, the problem was with the recipe itself. Flank steak and similar cuts, like the top round you used, are lean cuts of beef that need to be seared on med-high to high heat, either on the grill (best option) or heavy pan on stove. Cooked only to med-rare to rare, then sliced thinly against the grain. That way it retains its juiciness and tenderness. I would only use something with more fat and marbling, like chuck, for long cooking methods in liquid. Those recipe developers at Marjon didn’t know what the heck they were doing.
It’s a roulade sandwich! Roulade is good (in my experience) so I wonder what is missing? Somehow I can’t imagine that your guests would be mad if you just grilled some burgers instead.