Smirnoff Charlie Burch (1975)

Today is National Pumpkin Day and October is National Pumpkin Month! Here’s something pumpkin-related.

A friend of ours recently found himself with some unexpected guests, a bottle of Smirnoff, and a supply of root beer. Neither he nor anyone present had mixed Smirnoff and root beer before. But the occasion called for a drink, the hour was late, and the only place open was a good distance away. They voted to make do with what they had.

Our friend thought the result so surprisingly good that he suggested we try it. We agreed, and we pass the simple formula along, named after its inventor.

In doing so, we have no wish to convert anyone from plain old root beer when that’s what the occasion calls for. Everything in its place, we always say. To make a Charlie Burch, pour 1.5 oz Smirnoff into a tall glass with ice. Fill with root beer.

My version:

Alison thought it would be hot dating Farmer Ken–riding the tractor, rolls in the hay, watching him till the soil shirtless–sweat glistening off his abs. 

She was crestfallen to learn that farm life was more about erosion, fertilizer, hardiness, and heirloom seeds. Did you know that there are more than 150 types of pumpkins? This is an Atlantic Giant. 

The Charlie Burch in her hand sucks–because it’s Smirnoff and root beer–but the hour is late and the only place open is a good distance away. She’s going to make due with what she has! She getting buzzed enough to act like she’s interested in integrated pest management. And hopefully then she’ll get Farmer Ken out of his long underwear. 

There is an alternate version of the Charlie Burch that I wrote about summer 2021.