The Smirnoff Smokey Mary (1977)

I am living for the Smirnoff Vodka magazine ads from the 1970s.

Today’s drink is The Smokey Mary.

We never dreamed when we first launched the Smirnoff Bloody Mary it would become a global classic. That doesn’t mean, however, that most folks know how to make a really good one, or even care to bother. One fellow we know “cops out” as he says, with the Smokey Mary. “To put the bite in, I just add red barbecue sauce.” A capital idea for those who hate to fuss. If you should become a Smokey Mary enthusiast, do pace your drinks. Try to remember that where there’s smoke, there’s fire. To make a Smokey Mary, pour 1.5 ounces of Smirnoff in a glass with ice and fill with tomato juice. Add about a tablespoon of barbecue sauce to taste, a squeeze of lemon, and stir.

That’s some boring copy.

“Oh god, not again,” said Brenda to herself as she watched Leon and Loretta bring out the slide machine. She had already been subjected to their Miami and New York trips, now Cancun. There’s not enough Smirnoff in the world to make this night tolerable for poor Brenda. She contemplates “accidentally” spilling her delicious Smokey Mary on the carousel and rendering it useless, but it is such a tasty drink that she ultimately chooses not to. She suffers in silence. To make a Smokey Mary, pour 1.5 ounces of Smirnoff in a glass with ice and fill with tomato juice. Add the smoke from the pinatas that you just ignited to set off the fire alarm, a squeeze of lemon, and stir. 

Did people actually do this? Sit around and look at carousel slides?

Version 2:

 

At the end of a crisp autumn day, there is nothing like cramming yourself and four of your closest friends right in front of a blazing fireplace as you eat apples and barbecued ribs. It’s the perfect time to enjoy a delicious Smirnoff Smokey Mary. To make a Smokey Mary, pour 1.5 ounces of Smirnoff in a glass with ice and fill with tomato juice. Add about a tablespoon of barbecue sauce scraped directly off of a rack of ribs, a squeeze of lemon, and stir. But the true secret ingredient is the scent of burning hair. Yes, Linda doesn’t know it yet, but her hair is on fire.

Anyhoo, I made the cocktail. I used original Sweet Baby Ray’s–my bottled BBQ sauce of choice.

I was surprised by the drink. It was a little confusing at first, and then very enjoyable. I mean, it was a wee bit sweet because I used Sweet Baby Ray’s, but overall the smoke worked. It was nicely balanced by the squeeze of lemon.

Yum.

Speaking of smoke…

I surprised Mr. Sauce, Esq. last week with a mystery treat from The Manly Man Co.

He was completely befuddled by the box.

And then even more confused by what was in it.

I mean, if you weren’t expecting it, that shrink wrap looks a bit weird.

But then he fully unwrapped it and was flat-out delighted.

It’s a meat bouquet.

A jerky bouquet to be exact.

MEAT FLOWERS.

The meat flowers actually inspired me to make the Smokey Mary.

Smoky = barbecue = meat, so it made sense to put some meat in the Mary. Amiright?

The jerky was a great addition. It added a bit of salt, which tampered the sweetness of the Sweet Baby Ray’s. Also, look how cute they are!

The Manly Man Smokey Mary was a hit. A typical Bloody Mary already is a cocktail with its own snack, but this takes it to the next level (especially the hot flavor).

Ya know, I thought I was being all clever, but then I found out that the Manly Man/Awesome Gift Co. folks carry their own Beef Jerky Bloody Mary kit.

I am going to still consider myself clever.

4/5 on the tomato scale.