Emily’s Star Market Guacamole

Hey kittens!

I know that I’ve been AWOL this week. But things have been super-busy at work and I’ve just been a little social butterfly.

Since we last kiki’ed: Mr. Buckeye and I went out on Saturday night to imbibe some dirty Martinis and the bartender asked us if we could keep it down (can you believe that? Someone asking me to be quiet? I was appalled. Buckeye was flat out indignant. I have a feeling we’ll never be going back there again). On Monday I had bubbly and Chinese take-out with Erin, red wine and vegetarian nachos with Claire and Natty Bohs and Suspiria with Casey on Tuesday, and  (if we go back a few days) on Sunday night, at Todd & Leah’s—-my life was changed a little. Leah just got a Vitamix for her birthday and she made awesome frozen Margaritas (with tequila that Buckeye brought us back from Mexico) and the best salsa I have ever had outside of a Mexican restaurant.

One day I might have to share those recipe with you, but it is not salsa day–it is Guacamole Day.  Which we did not have on Sunday, but it is something that I make pretty often and I’ve been told it’s pretty damn good. I always make it for Super Bowl Sunday.

There is no need for you to ever buy pre-made guacamole or buy one of those ‘guacamole’ seasoning packets that they sell next to the avocados. Nor is it necessary to purchase expensive cilantro or sear your tear ducts by mincing jalepenos. This is my fail-proof, super-easy way to make some of the best guacamole you’ll ever taste.

The name comes from the grocery store in Boston when I was first told how to do this right–by some random dude in the produce section. I then took that basic idea and ran with it.

 Emily’s Star Market Guacamole

Combine with a fork:

• 1 sliced avocado
• 2 tbsp chopped red onion
• 1 plum tomato seeded and diced
• juice of 1/2 lime
• 1 tbsp salsa verde
• 1 tbsp red salsa
• ground pepper
• copious amounts of garlic salt
• touch of cumin

You can adjust all of the ingredients to your liking. Double or triple depending on how many avocados you use.

Mash with a fork. I prefer mine chunky, but if you like a smoother consistency feel free to blend. Cover with plastic wrap (put the plastic wrap directly on the guacamole so the avocado doesn’t brown), and chill.

I like to serve it with my own baked tortilla chips–take corn tortillas, cut each into 6 wedges. Put on baking sheet. Sprinkle lightly with lime juice, garlic salt, cumin, and paprika. Bake in the oven at 350 for about 15 minutes. Then check the chips frequently so they don’t scorch. Boom. Done. Yum.

And an FYI: if you’re in a pinch, just combine mashed avocado with jarred salsa. But you need both kinds–the red salsa for the tomato and onion and the green for the cilantro and jalepeno. It won’t have as fresh or as full a taste, and it won’t be chunky, but if you’re ever caught in a guacamole-related emergency, your ass is covered.

I don’t have a finished picture of my guac. So just imagine what you think it would look like, and you’re probably right. But since I don’t have a picture of that, here is a picture of me with some Raptor-looking dinosaurs:

As always, I just can’t contain my excitement.