105. Tuna Salad 3 Way

The title should read “3 ways,” but the typo was so funny it had to stay. Tuna Salad Three Way sounds like some bizarro porn that you would never  want to watch.

I am not afraid that now I’ll get weird hits on my blog; I already do. And nothing will ever top “Facebook Sluts Toledo Ohio.”

Now to the dinner at hand. So, have I mentioned that I hate canned tuna?  Canned fish is just gross. An abomination!

Now, Dinner is Served tricked me once with 80. Tuna on Toasted English Muffins. I actually liked that, which blew my mind. But I was skeptical that DiS! could make lighting strike twice.

Additionally, I used #105 as an experiment to see what the difference is between Chunk Light Tuna and Albacore White Tuna. Well, it turns out there’s A LOT of difference: the color, the texture, the taste. Sweet Christ on a cracker is the taste different! All the differences can be summed up in this equation:

Albacore White Tuna = Chicken > Chunk Light Tuna = Cat Food

OK, basic mixture: not bad. Not as tuna-ish as I expected. Perhaps the mixing of the albacore and the chunk light did that. I thought the initial mix was a little soupy from all of the mayo, but it tasted OK.

Here I split the tuna salad into 3 different bowls for the 3 way tuna.

First off, the Cantaloupe Tuna Salad. I didn’t toast the slivered almonds because it’s fucking hot in Maryland (however, I’m glad to see almonds make another appearance–it had been so long–too long!) As for the grapes, DiS! said nothing about chopping the grapes, so they floated in the mix like big beach balls. Weird.

When it came to the Tomato Flower, I didn’t have dill seed, so I used dill weed. And I don’t know what ‘fresh’ cucumber pickled is, and Safeway sure as hell wouldn’t have it, so I went with a good ol’ kosher dill. I ended up using a lot of dill weed. Like, 2 teaspoons of it. I don’t know if my herbs were just old or if the tuna masked a lot of the dill flavor, but I had to put a bunch in there to even taste it.

For the Avocado Cup, I was going to just fill the avocado half with the basic mixture since I do not eat grapefruits. But then I thought What goes with avocados? Mexican food goes with avocados! So I did the only rational thing and put a few tablespoons of jarred salsa and a sprinkling of cumin in it.

Everything went into the fridge to chill. And then I went into the living room to chill and watch another episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and drink some rum and pineapple juice.

Have I mentioned that I love Buffy? Like The X-Files, it’s one of those shows that I watched first-run and enjoyed so much that I decided to watch again. I’m on the last season and, unlike The X-Files, Buffy held up for the most part; there aren’t as many groan-worthy moments, and that’s saying a lot since it is a show with vampires.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer   is  funny, smart, and the female lead is just that–the lead. Buffy Summers makes decisions, she makes mistakes, she makes jokes and she saves the world.

A lot.

And her vampire boyfriends don’t sparkle. Sunlight makes them burn.

Blow me, Bella Swan.

Another great thing about the show is Spike, who just is the bees knees. And who I am still totally in love with (like I am with Mulder). Go to the 6:20 mark, where the real action starts.

Good heavens. That was a lot of thrusting for a network show 10+ years ago. Is it hot in here?

OK, now for the finished products!

My recreation of the original card ain’t too shabby this time around.

The salads were much better than I expected, but they were still tuna salad. The grape/cantaloupe/almond one was too damn sweet. And sweet is a flavor I don’t want matched with fish. The tomato/dill/pickle was much better, but like I said: still tuna salad. After my sampling, I tossed the rest.

The exception was the Avocado Cup–I ate that the next day for lunch. But of course I liked the avocado cup best. Because I made it up. And I am awesome.