A couple of months ago I made Hash a la Lubeck from the 1969 cookbook Campbell’s Great Restaurants Cookbook, USA.
Two weeks ago I went out on 3 Tinder dates in a 7 day period.
Both of these experiments had mixed results.
When this book came out, Luchow’s was still in business on East 14th Street in NYC. It shuttered its doors in 1982. But Luchow’s was a big deal–it is featured prominently in Vincent and Mary Price’s Treasury of Great Recipes.
So, this joint had the VP seal of approval! I settled on Hash a la Lubeck.
As I just post pictures of the Hash a la Lubeck process, I’ll tell you about my Tinder-ing.
Because I know that’s why you’re here.
Guy 1. I can’t even tell you anything about Guy 1. Seriously. It was that unmemorable. Like, nothing. I could not tell you his name if my life depended on it. Oh! He had a female roommate. Because it seems like every dude has a female roommate as of late.
Guy 2. Now, it started off on a bad note because he had those big earrings. You know the kind–the ones that are plastic and, like, super-big. Gauges? Grommets? I have no clue. All I know is that’s not really my bag.
Good: we talked about the Jaws series and had a lot of 1980s nostalgia going on. So that was cool.
Bad: the fact that he told me that he loved to wear flip-flops. Like, everywhere. Not just backyard, beach, pool, boat, privacy of own home (those are the ONLY acceptable places for men to wear flip-flops IMHO).
Bad: he called me a fag hag. Yup.
Bad: he basically told me that television was low-brow and stupid. Don’t diss my tv, dude.
Guy 3. Well, he has a kid, wore some sort of Ed Hardy-ish hoodie, lives all the way out by Aberdeen Proving Grounds, and did nothing but talk smack on Pittsburgh.
But! He was handsome and had a bit of a Jon Hamm vibe in certain angles (for serious), so I was willing to overlook a few things.
But then he told me that he didn’t drink. Like, EVER.
So I felt like this scene:
I can’t hang with those who don’t imbibe.
So here is the final result of my Hash a la Lubeck:
It looked pretty! But it was completely inedible. This had potential, for sure. But it was waaaaaaay too salty. And I like salt.
Hold on. Why did I say earlier that the results were mixed? They sucked. Both just sucked.
I am probably going to lay off the Tinder for a while. A profile I just read included this little gem: “Girls, just FYI, Marilyn Monroe was a slut. She had multiple affairs.” That was sandwiched right between “I’m hilarious” and “I work as a traveling independent marketing consultant.”
What the fuck is wrong with men? This isn’t quite as atrocious as the Control Your Vagina rant, but c’mon!