Today is the day! I should be receiving my Twin Peaks box in the mail this afternoon. Needless to say, I am very excited. Plus, for this final Twin Peaks Tuesday I’ve saved the best for last: the official Twin Peaks cherry pie!
This recipe, from Twin Peaks: An Access Guide to the Town, was passed along to me by DiS! reader Keri.
First things first. I am not a baker. I have made that clear in the About Me section of this blog. But I have overcome my deficiencies when it came to sauces and gravies, so I decided to go into this with a positive attitude. Maybe I could do it!
I started on Saturday by putting the pie crust together:
That was without incident. I put it into the fridge, wrapped in plastic (say that in your head like Jack Nance) overnight.
On Sunday morning I made the filling, with frozen cherries.
So here we have the cherries, the cherries draining (I even squished the cherries to get more juice out of them, but I had to add a ton of water to get to 3 cups of juice), and then the juice, boiling, after I added the cornstarch thickening mixture:
Once cooked, I put the thickened sauce on top of the thawed cherries and let that sit.
Meanwhile…I started with the crust.
As soon as I cut it in half, the dough just started to crumble. And it didn’t get any better from there.
I was finally able to get it into sheets by putting the dough in between pieces of saran wrap and rolling it out like that. But I still couldn’t get it into the shape of anything remotely resembling a circle. If anything, they look like European countries.
Lucky for me, I had a frozen pie crust left over from Seafoam Cantaloupe Pie and used my homemade pie crust for the top, lattice work.
Which, was not easy. The crust was too thick and not that pliable. Ugh.
Here’s my finished pie:
I’m 100% sure that this wouldn’t throw Agent Cooper into a euphoric state. Or inspire Gordon Cole to write an epic poem.
But at least it looks like a pie. Right?
On Sunday, I brought it over to my friend Owen’s house for his version of Sunday Funday: drinking beer while brewing beer in his back yard. I needed someone to eat the damn thing, (I wasn’t going to eat the whole pie) so why not a bunch of brew dogs?
So, here I was, at the final moment–when I’d finally unveil my pie. The pie that we’ve all been waiting for:
And it was a hot mess.
Goddamned cherry pie.
The whole thing just disintegrated. And the filling, although it looked so promising beforehand, was just runny. At least the cherries tasted good…?
I’ve had some kitchen fails before, but this one was particularly heartbreaking. 1. Because I was really looking forward to it. 2. I was serving it to people I don’t know (I really don’t have any issue with serving shit to my close friends).
But it’s sad–my pie didn’t look like either photo–the recipe photo or the one on the front cover. Hell, it didn’t even look like pie when I got it out of the pan and onto the plates. Like I said, I’m just not a baker. Thank God there was ice cream to cover the damn thing.
You can almost imagine it as being a cohesive piece of pie.
Thanks again to Keri for sharing the recipe!
Now, who wants to come over tonight and watch the pilot?