Twin Peaks Tuesday: Official Twin Peaks Cherry Pie

Today is the day! I should be receiving my Twin Peaks box in the mail this afternoon. Needless to say, I am very excited. Plus, for this final Twin Peaks Tuesday I’ve saved the best for last: the official Twin Peaks cherry pie!

This recipe, from  Twin Peaks: An Access Guide to the Town, was passed along to me by DiS! reader Keri.

twin peaks guide

twin peaks cherry pie recipe

First things first. I am not a baker. I have made that clear in the About Me section of this blog. But I have overcome my deficiencies when it came to sauces and gravies, so I decided to go into this with a positive attitude. Maybe I could do it!

I started on Saturday by putting the pie crust together:

dough ball

That was without incident. I put it into the fridge, wrapped in plastic (say that in your head like Jack Nance) overnight.

On Sunday morning I made the filling, with frozen cherries.

So here we have the cherries, the cherries draining (I even squished the cherries to get more juice out of them, but I had to add a ton of water to get to 3 cups of juice), and then the juice, boiling, after I added the cornstarch thickening mixture:

DSCN0545[1]draining the cherriescooking the pie filling

Once cooked, I put the thickened sauce on top of the thawed cherries and let that sit.

meanwhile

Meanwhile…I started with the crust.

pie crust

As soon as I cut it in half, the dough just started to crumble. And it didn’t get any better from there.

DSCN0561[1]
I was finally able to get it into sheets by putting the dough in between pieces of saran wrap and rolling it out like that. But I still couldn’t get it into the shape of anything remotely resembling a circle. If anything, they look like European countries.

DSCN0564[1]

Lucky for me, I  had a frozen pie crust left over from Seafoam Cantaloupe Pie and used my homemade pie crust for the top, lattice work.

unbaked cherry pieDSCN0565[1]

Which, was not easy. The crust was too thick and not that pliable. Ugh.

Here’s my finished pie:

Twin Peaks Cherry Pie

I’m 100% sure that this wouldn’t throw Agent Cooper into a euphoric state. Or inspire Gordon Cole to write an epic poem.

But at least it looks like a pie. Right?

On Sunday, I brought it over to my friend Owen’s house for his version of Sunday Funday: drinking beer while brewing beer in his back yard. I needed someone to eat the damn thing, (I wasn’t going to eat the whole pie) so why not a bunch of brew dogs?

So, here I was, at the final moment–when I’d finally unveil my pie. The pie that we’ve all been waiting for:

Cherry Pie Fail

And it was a hot mess.

Goddamned cherry pie.

The whole thing just disintegrated. And the filling, although it looked so promising beforehand, was just runny. At least the cherries tasted good…?

I’ve had some kitchen fails before, but this one was particularly heartbreaking. 1. Because I was really looking forward to it. 2. I was serving it to people I don’t know (I really don’t have any issue with serving shit to my close friends).

But it’s sad–my pie didn’t look like either photo–the recipe photo or the one on the front cover. Hell, it didn’t even look like pie when I got it out of the pan and onto the plates. Like I said, I’m just not a baker. Thank God there was ice cream to cover the damn thing.

You can almost imagine it as being a cohesive piece of pie.

cherry pie

Almost.

Thanks again to Keri for sharing the recipe!

Now, who wants to come over tonight and watch the pilot?

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About Yinzerella

Just a Steel Town Girl on a Saturday night, cookin' for my life. www.dinnerisserved1972.com
This entry was posted in Dessert, FAIL, Food, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Twin Peaks Tuesday: Official Twin Peaks Cherry Pie

  1. Yinzerella, there is a package coming to you soon and I will include in it VINCENT PRICE’S PASTRY RECIPE. This will not fail you. Ever. My heart goes out to you. Don’t give up on baking, when it works, you feel invincible.

    Like

    • Yinzerella says:

      In VP I trust, so I will give it a shot, but really I just don’t think that baking is my bag.
      And I keep forgetting to re-send to you the Old Bay. It is sitting by my front door.

      Like

  2. Mum says:

    Like I said before….pie is hard! Oh….if only I could join you this evening for the Twin Peaks viewing!!! Can we watch it when your old mum visits in October, please????

    Like

  3. I applaud your pie effort for the spirit of Twin Peaks – they are a tricky species.

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  4. Ars says:

    I’m just proud of you for going outside your comfort zone…and it does look delicious! I would’ve eaten a slice..with a steam hot cup o’ joe!

    Like

  5. Keri says:

    Ohhh, I’m so sorry it was a flop! You were brave to try it! Think of it as a learning experience ;)
    My recent cherry pie looked beautiful from the outside, but was a watery sloppy mess inside. Big letdown. Sorry yours didn’t work out either!

    Like

  6. Angie says:

    But how did it taste? And man, I would love to but alas we live to far apart.

    Like

  7. Eat The Blog says:

    I’ve made my share of pie soup too. Personally, I stay away from cornstarch and use either flour or tapioca to thicken as they’re more predictable. That said, I’d still eat it, and watch Twin Peaks with you.

    Like

  8. kittentoes says:

    I just canned a bunch of cherry pie filling so that I can make cherry pie from actual cherries this winter.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Glen H says:

    Bottled cherries could work better than frozen- the syrup can be boiled down to to help bind the filling

    Like

  10. Pingback: Thoughts on the Twin Peaks revival (SPOILERS; DO NOT READ IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED) | Leitourgeia kai Qurbana: Contra den Zeitgeist

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