What says “hot dog” more than Coney Island (and also, what says “eating so much that you vomit” more than Coney Island)? Although I had no designs on eating so many hot dogs that I’d puke, this chili-dog dish fit the bill for a Wiener Wednesday.
Actually, this wasn’t just a dish, it was a meal: Boat Picnic from my 1963 first edition of Barbecues and Picnics from the Better Homes & Gardens Creative Cooking Library. The cover is there to the right. Pray tell, what is that cut of meat? And what animal did that meat come from? It’s scarily symmetrical.
- Coney Islands
- Cole Slaw
- Fresh Fruit
- Iced Tea
So, that’s a nice little summer dinner. But really what set apart this meal from all the others was the chapter from which it came.
I am not shitting you. Well, of course I’m not. It’s there. In a picture.
I love saying “hobo.” It’s a ridiculous word. And it’s ridiculous that a BH&G test kitchen genius thought, “You know what would be awesome? A chapter on eating hobo style.” And someone replied, “Yes! Hobo style! It is one of the best styles of dining.”
I love it when I don’t have to worry about fancy manners. Just like these hobos!
Oh, sorry. Wrong hobos.
Better. Hobos always wear tennis costumes.
And what the hell do hobos have to do with a boat picnic?
Anyway, here is my Boat Picnic. I tried to get cole slaw but they didn’t have any at the deli at the Safeway. The salad I was eyeing while waiting for my turn at the deli counter turned out to be seafood salad–the kind made out of shredded fake crab. Gross. The deli counter attendant was fooled, too, into thinking it was cole slaw.
Well played, Safeway seafood salad. You got me.
So in my Boat Dinner there is a green salad. And a bowl of cherries. No cupcake. But there’s iced tea, at least.
Oh, my Boat Picnic is nothing like the real Boat Picnic! I tried to make up for it with the visuals. The burlap plus Handy Smurf makes it hobo-y. I think it’s the overalls.
The Coney Sauce was pretty good for so few ingredients. But the dogs really did need the onions and mustard to make them work. I added some processed cheese (yum!) to the dog on the right. Overall I liked these. But the buns seemed exceptionally large. Too much bread! I ended up pinching the bottom parts of each bun off and just eating the upper part that had chili. I also think that I need to move away from the turkey dogs. They’re healthier and all but they just aren’t very good. They’re so damn bland.
Join me next week, won’t you? I have over 40 more hot dog recipes to burn through. That’s almost a whole year of Wendnesdays just lousy with wieners.
Shit, I have a feeling that I’m going to really get sick of hot dogs.
Remember, you can submit your own hot dog horrors to me: firstname.lastname@example.org