Cocktails and Snacks: Frankfurter Rolls & Cocktail Cheese Mold (1953)

Last night Mr. Sauce, Esq. and I watched the new Netflix movie Deadly Illusions starring Kristin Davis (a.k.a. Charlotte York from Sex and the City).

It’s a doozy.

Plot: Charlotte York is a famous novelist who is about to start her new book. To free up time she hires a nanny (played by Frasier Crane’s real-life daughter) to take care of her kids. As she writes, Charlotte’s perception of reality vs. fiction becomes blurred. Husband is perfect until he isn’t. Nanny is perfect until she isn’t. Yadda yadda yadda. Hijinks ensue.

The best way to describe Deadly Illlusions is “Lifetime movie on steroids.” Since it’s on Netflix, you can have nudity and swearing, so there are a lot of lesbian fantasy sequences (or are they real lesbian sequences!?!?) between Charlotte and Baby Frasier, as well as an appearance by Dermot Mulroney’s butt.

As soon as said butt showed up I yelled “old ass!” but then reassessed the situation (re-ass-essed. Get it?) and decided to call it “mature ass.” No need to age shame.

Keep in mind that Dermot Mulroney is not to be confused with Dylan McDermott, whose derriere often makes cameos in Ryan Murphy productions. That ass is timeless and is quite the actor–it has range.

Anyway, this movie is so silly and so nonsensical, I don’t know if anyone in the production really knew what was going on.  There is LITERALLY a scene where Charlotte is connecting the dots of her novel with string, a la Charlie and the Pepe Silvia conspiracy.

This movie was so damn confusing that Mr. Sauce and I were still talking about it when we climbed into bed. Before we turned out the lights he said to me: “that movie broke me.”

If you want two hours of confusion and bad acting, this is the movie for you! As an avid Lifetime movie fan, this was 100% in my wheelhouse. However, if you prefer your movies to be of high-quality (or make narrative sense), skip it.

At the moment I cannot think of any way to connect the movie to today’s recipes, so I’ll just say this:

I THREW A PARTY!!!!*** and I used it as an excuse to try out 2 recipes from one of my newly acquired cookbooks.

I love a teeny weenie and I love a good mold, which is why I chose these two dishes.

First question–when it says “grated cheese” what exactly does it mean? Is that grated cheddar or grated American (which I always see in recipes and then can never figure out how one would grate American cheese because it is so gooey)?

I went with Parm.

I mixed the cheese with the cayenne and mashed it into the bread so it stuck.

Result:

These are basic. And delicious. I could have been a more liberal with the Cayenne.

MOLD!

When I made the mold, I quickly realized how salty and fishy it was. Not everyone likes anchovies nor capers, so I had to improvise. My solution (as it is for so many situations) BOOZE!

I sprinkled in a healthy glug of sherry, which totally did the trick.

However, the sherry did not help it get out of the molds.

So it was more of a cocktail cheese spread. It was a bummer that they didn’t unmold, because they would have been super-cute. But it was tasty, and that’s what matters most.

***It was only 2 people, and they sat at the breakfast bar while I made snicky snacks, but after a year when all socializing was cancelled, it’s a party.