OH. MY. GAWD.

It’s been like pulling teeth here, trying to get myself to sit down and write.

Actual footage of me trying to write

Meanwhile, Margot’s teeth have literally falling out.

Seriously. Teeth falling out.

So, sometimes after a nap, her tongue just sticks out.

It’s so damn cute.

And Brian has a chronic respiratory infection and is congested as fuck.

Oh the noises he makes! It’s like between a fart and a squeak and a wheeze and a snore. When he sleeps it sounds like he needs a CPAP.

It just sounds horrible. Really, really horrible.

But otherwise he is operating as normal.

Except for his tendency to sneeze blood.

It’s fun.

And while I wipe up the blood off of my parquet floors, I always think, this must be what an episode of Dexter is like.

I’ve never seen Dexter. Which I need to remedy.

Here is Brian with his bloody nose and his weepy eye. Before you come at me with claims of pet neglect–the vet has said that this is just his new normal. He’s on maintenance antibiotics and we take him into the shower to “steam” daily.

I will add that to my to-do list!

  • vacuum
  • buy cat food
  • return green pants to Talbot’s
  • lose 10 pounds
  • take Mr. Sauce to get prescription sunglasses
  • finish season one of Westworld
  • learn Korean
  • buy birthday gift for mum
  • write 8 new blog posts
  • assemble bug-out bag
  • pay off mortgage
  • frame Hannibal recipe cards
  • watch all 96 episodes of Dexter.

But number 1 on list right now is to post about 176. Hot Dog Pizza.

We used hot dogs from The Meat Shack at Strohmer’s Farm in Woodstock, MD that we purchased in October. Please note, that I made this pizza in the fall. THAT IS HOW BEHIND I AM ON BLOGGING. 

It’s sad, really. I’m just going to blame Mr. Sauce for it because since he’s moved in, I’d rather hang out with him and the cats and watch tv and play Super NES.

But anyhoo–HOT DOG PIZZA.

So, the recipe called for one of those boxed pizza kits with the can of sauce and the shaker of cheese.

But I didn’t even bother looking for them because they totally don’t make those anymore, right?

Nope, they do still exist!
And they’re available at your local Wal-Mart.

OK, so I didn’t use the kit. But I did buy the kind Pillsbury in-a-roll pizza dough and a can of my favorite pizza-specific sauce.

So here you have it.

HOT DOG PIZZA!

What do they always say–pizza is like sex: even when it’s bad, it’s good?

OK, we all know that is NOT true, but this was pretty tasty although this wasn’t some wood-fired shit. Just imagine pepperoni pizza that instead of pepperoni, had high-quality hot dogs on it.

As I was searching online for the Chef Boyardee pizza kit, I came across 10 Things We Miss About Pizza From Back in the Day. 

All I’m gonna say is that I miss Pizza Hut so hard. I LOVED Pizza Hut as a kid. Maybe I need to find an old-school one that serves pitchers of beer and have a Pizza Hut birthday party for my 40th.

Shit. That’s a brilliant idea.

I am totally not kidding about this. I had a Pizza Hut birthday party as a kid. We played Hot Potato. And I was wearing a party dress. Can you imagine trying to get a kid to wear a party dress to a Pizza Hut birthday party now?

And I miss these stupid Pizzarias chips. I have fond memories of sitting down with a bag of them in front of the TV with my brother and watching Batman: the Animated Series and Tiny Toons.

That and Taco Supreme Taco Bell Doritos, which were just Doritos but with “Taco Bell Spices.”

Advertising the theatrical re-release of the original Star Wars trilogy! Sweet!

They were so goddamn good.

I wish they’d bring that shit back.

yinzerella

View Comments

  • Late to the party (by a year and a half!), but your mention of old time Pizza Huts makes me think about the time our FBLA club went to one and kids were smoking and the sponsors ordered a pitcher of beer. I was a freshman, and I know for damn sure no one was 18 (but this was 1989, so 14 year olds could smoke to their heart's content!)

    I know their pizza crust was soaked in grease and the pizzas literally SHONE with all those wonderful fats, but damn, I miss those dark, 1970s era restaurants that had actual jukeboxes (with 45s!) and all the Pall Mall smoke you could breathe!

  • Sorry the kitties aren't doing so well!

    As for "Dexter," I highly recommend the first season. The second is pretty great too. You should skip the rest, though. I only made it to the very beginning of season five, but I've always regretted tainting the memory of those first glorious seasons.

    P.S.- Pizza from a box mix is one of my guilty pleasures. Once in a while, I just have to make one. My mom was a terrible cook, and that was one of the few things she couldn't screw up too badly, so I probably like it more than I should. (I think she got an off-brand called Appian Way, though. No point in spending more for Chef Boyardee.)

  • 1. Mr. Sauce is an adult he can get his own glasses & vacuum. Yes, I’m over reacting because you are the 3rd person in my life, myself included that has things on their list others can do but you are expected to. IE: vacuuming & cleaing the house. I am taking 5 days off next week to get my life back in order after 9 months 3 of which I was crazy learning a new job. Now that I am past probation and union there for unfireable I am taking those days off to get shit done. One of those days I will now be putting Kasper’s hot dogs on one of those shitty 98¢ froven pizzas for lunch & will be enjoy this window to weight gain.

    • Angie, you rock. I thank you for your support :)

      Yeah, I need to take a little time off just for me. Maybe in August when Mr. Sauce is off for a Phish festival.
      I finally found a cleaning service that I like, so I'm not doing as much cleaning as I was (and she's coming this week). In Mr. Sauce's defense, he does always help in the kitchen cleaning after dinner and he did a lot of "spring cleaning" type things over the weekend. We are so close to having a box-free dining room!
      And I am able to check of Talbots, Mum's birthday present, and cat food off of the list.
      So, congrats on the new job!!! (and being Union)
      Yes, please put hot dogs on a Celeste pizza. LOL

  • Can I say, and I am totes sincere, that I love that you have become a crazy cat lady? Albeit a super classy one?

    Poor Margo:( Has this been diagnosed? Usually they lose their teeth due to a virus called stomatitis. And I've known plenty of snotty kitties.

    You've been adopted by some special needs felines my friend. Praise be.

    • ALSO!
      You should see Dean with the cats.
      He decided that we should sleep on the couch all weekend so we could be with Brian because Brian sleeps on Yellow Chair.
      We are crazy people.

    • Margot's teeth have fallen out because the people who owned her before never took her to the vet. When they surrendered her, the Humane Society had to pull out a lot of them, so it was really just a matter of time.
      Praise be. LOL

  • Oh! My son recommended Dexter a couple of years ago, even got me season 1 on DVD. I then binged the rest of the series! You must watch!
    Are you still interested in the recipe cards I've saved for you? Remember??

    • OK, will watch Dexter.
      I totally forgot about the recipe cards! Yes, of course I'd like them :)
      I'll email you.

  • Maybe I am missing #176, because I totally would have remembered and probably already made Hot Dog Pizza!!! I worked at a Pizza Hut in high school, it really is something you don't forget and occasionally crave! Hugs to your kitties from mine!

      • I worked at a Pizza Hut in college! It's now a car dealership. Have you seen the FB page 'Things That Used to be a Pizza Hut'? Or something like that. I made mad tips there on the weekends as a server and mopping that floor every damn night was a workout.

  • When I was a little girl, my brother would make us "pizza". This was 1976. I'd never had real pizza from a pizzeria and I don't think McCains had yet really popularized the frozen pizza. He'd take two slices white bread, toast them on one side only. Flip, and cover with a sauce that was part ketchup and part Heinz 57 steak sauce. Carefully slice hot dogs and layer over sauce (sometimes he broiled them first) and then cover with an ungodly amount of shredded extra old (extra sharp) cheddar. Sprinkle liberally with thyme and oregano. Stick back in the toaster oven to broil until the cheese was melty and bubbly. I remember it being good. I decided a few months ago to make it for old times sake and thought it was likely going to taste awful to my adult self. IT WAS FRAKKING GLORIOUS. So good!! Don't knock the hot dog pizza!

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