It’s here! It’s finally here!

I don’t know how you plan on spending your election day, but after work I’m shutting down everything that could possibly tell me anything about the election until the morning after.

So tonight I will sit, glass (bottle) of wine in hand, luxuriating in blissful radio silence.

But that doesn’t mean that you have to! Here is a Yankee Doodle of an idea from “The Open-House Brunch” chapter of The Smirnoff Brunch Book (1971):

“Your favorite candidate is coming to town on his political swing, and it’s your job to see that he meets the people. The best way for him to meet the most people is with a brunch, at your house, maybe even a staggered brunch with people coming in shifts. You’ll be having a mob, so a punch-and-finger-foods party is in order. It can all be prepared and ready in advance, giving you time to aid your candidate in his quest for votes.”

Well, that sounds exhausting.

Fun fact: I actually did work on a political campaign back in 2010 when Dok Harris ran for the Mayor of Pittsburgh. And when Dearly Departed Cleve was on the scene, I would volunteer and GOTV (that’s get out the vote, for you not in the know). But that was because he was my boyfriend and shit. I kinda had to.

But now just let me say, NEVER AGAIN. 

I am all about voting. It is my duty and a right and a privilege as an American; but I’d have to go through all 24 drinks of this Smirnoff Election Punch to get me to do anything related to politics as long as I live. I am sure a lot of you share that sentiment.

OK, let’s take a look at the recipes…

I don’t know how I feel about that first one. Canned shrimp. Blarg.

And I love a stuffed mushroom, but deviled ham? Not so much.

Crispy chicken nuggets? Yes, please, but can’t I just buy the frozen ones?

The Sherried Chicken-Liver Spread I actually made for my birthday/housewarming party 2 years ago. It was delicious. But I couldn’t get it out of the mold, so it looked very sad. No one else ate it.

Sharp Snacks. I’d give that a shot. Or I could just buy a box of Cheez-Its.

Cheese-Sausage Rolls sound good to me. And it makes 50-60 servings?!?! I may have to consider this one for this year’s Christmas Parade Buffet!

As for the meatballs, yum. Again, this could be a good item for my parade party. Or I could just buy pre-made meatballs and put them in a chafing dish…

Speaking of choices, get your asses out to the polls and vote! Because in the very wise words of my Pap Pap:

If you don’t vote, you can’t bitch.

 Happy election day, everyone!