Better Than Tom Selleck Cake

And we have a winner!

The people have spoken and the people wanted Better Than Tom Selleck Cake!

Yes, with 39% of the votes, the Better Than Tom Selleck Cake bested two Selleck-themed cocktails, a Thanksgiving salad, and Tom’s own recipe for Chicken with Wine and Mushrooms.

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You may have had this cake before under other guises–the Better than Robert Redford Cake, or the Better than Sex Cake. All variations on a theme.

Nowadays, what would it be? Better than Jon Hamm Cake? Better than The Clooney Cake? Well, I don’t know if there could be a cake better than either of those fine men (nor David Duchovny–I mean, c’mon. Have you seen these photos of him macking on Scully recently? Be still my beating heart!!!)

mulder kisses scully
My head has just exploded, yinz guys

OK, in my world it’s hard for anything to top that. But maybe this cake did. You be the judge!

tomselleckcakeBetter Than Tom Selleck Cake

  • Box yellow cake mix (and the eggs and oil to make said cake)
  • Big can of crushed pineapple
  • 1/2 cup Sugar
  • Box vanilla pudding (and milk needed to make said pudding) I used instant!
  • Tub of Cool Whip
  • Flaked Coconut (a cup or so)

Make cake in 9×12 or 11×13 pan. Bake as directed. Cook can of pineapple (with juice) in saucepan and mix in sugar. Poke holes in cake and pour pineapple mixture on top. Let it sit for a bit. Make pudding.Spread pudding over pineapple. Chill for a couple of hours. Spread tub of Cool Whip on top of pudding layer. Chill again. Sprinkle Cool Whip with  delicious flaked coconut.

Super-easy, amiright?

birthday pot luck
We do it up big.

We recently held a potluck at my office in honor of the birthday of one of my bosses, Kate (you may remember that for one of her past birthday celebrations I made the extremely festive Jello Rainbow Cake). This potluck I used as an excuse to make this poll’s winning dish.

Now, Kate isn’t necessarily a huge Tom Selleck fan, but she’s all about a man. One who isn’t a metrosexual. A man who isn’t all shaved and shorn and waxed. We both feel strongly about this. So, Mr. Selleck is an example of such a man.

My execution of the Better than Tom Selleck Cake was perfect. In its unveiling, everyone lost their shit.

me and selleck

Oh, do you need to see that closer?

MAY 001

Yes, let’s get even closer.

MAY 003

CLOSER!MAY 005

It kills me that my weird Tom Selleck cut-out (which was just a printed picture of him I glued onto card stock that I cut with scissors and then taped to straws) ended up looking so photoshopped.

It’s some Selleck Waterfall Sandwich levels of realness.

Don’t you agree that I chose the best picture possible! That mustache! All. That. Chest. Hair. It was perfection.

Oh, and by the way, the cake was delicious, too. Really moist (that is the only acceptable usage of the word moist–as a descriptor for cake).

Bake this cake soon and make it Better Than (Insert Name Here)!

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0 thoughts on “Better Than Tom Selleck Cake

  1. That may be, hands down, the most awesome cake ever!
    And I disagree – not even to describe cake is the use of the word ‘moist’ acceptable.

  2. No shit, I just laughed so hard I pulled something up under my ribcage. Then I kept reading and pulled it again! I may end up with a hernia by the time I’m done reading your post, but it was so worth it. It was an awful week, I needed the laugh.

  3. BF’s Birthday is tomorrow. I am going to the store to get the cake and putting mix. I have the whipped topping, and I canned some pineapples a month ago so I can use those. Thanks for the idea. I wish I could do the coconut but the BF doesn’t like it. I wonder if Chocolate chips would work or sprinkles, who doesn’t like sprinkles. I shell call it the not as good but pretty darn close as BF cake.

      1. Ok cake report. Ist I have no pictures because my phone is full of pod casts I need to listen to. It was good but could have used more pineapple and frankly I think the coconut would have made it rock. So If anyone is readying this and thinking of substituting anything for anything I think you need to do it right or go home. BF seemed to like it though and loved that he got a cake, he is not a fan of the birthday, so thanks for the idea you made a very sad birthday boy a little less sad.

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