Bisquick Impossible Brownie Pie

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by yinzerella

December 8 is (was) National Brownie Day!

Please accept my apology for this late post, but I went home this weekend for “Thanksgiving.” On actual Thanksgiving, I was in Baltimore at a Friendsgiving and my parents, bro, and SIL were in NYC with SIL’s family.

So I was busy this weekend. We got our Christmas tree and decorated it. I also made a very special soup for “Thanksgiving” which I hope to get to you soon, and also share with you the hors d’ouerves that I made for Friendsgiving.

But to the brownies! In my quest to make all of the Impossible Pies, I now present to you, Impossible Brownie Pie.

brownie impossible pie
Courtesy of ClickAmericana.com

This recipe sounds pretty damn simple. And based on my success with all of the other Impossible Pies, I assumed this, too, would be a winner. So I made this for a dessert party that we had in honor of one of my co-worker’s retirement.

Let’s see how this went down.

impossible brownie pie ingredients
The usual suspects. For the nuts I chose chopped hazelnuts and for the baking chocolate, milk chocolate chocolate chips.
impossible brownie pie
I do not have a blender, so, like the Impossible Pies in the past, I just used my KitchenAid mixer.
impossible brownie pie
This is the pie before it went into the oven. I must admit that the melted chocolate solidified back into little chips as soon as it went into the mixer. The consistency here was…odd.
impossible brownie pie
I had to bake it longer than directed. This bitch took a long time in the oven. But it came out looking like a pie/brownie/cake…kinda.

impossible brownie pie
I made sure the year was there so everyone knew I was making one of my weird retro recipes.

It looks deceptively okay there. All of that whipped cream (yeah, I just covered the thing in whipped cream) and hazelnuts cloaked the Impossible Brownie Pie visually, but nothing could mask the weird, chewy, half-baked, lumpy pie that lay beneath.

It was horrible.

And again, this, like the Jack o’ Lantern Salad, went untouched. But I don’t blame the people I work with.  I know that I’ve said it before: I always have to decide whether I want to contribute something that people will enjoy, or whether I want to make something for the blog.

Blog. Always. Wins.

Therefore,  I continue to subject my co-workers to weird foodstuffs. I am surprised they haven’t yet asked me to stop cooking and just bring cups or napkins.

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yinzerella

14 thoughts on “Bisquick Impossible Brownie Pie”

  1. I am literally sitting in front of my computer laughing loudly – it just burst out. Gibson (the dog) and Homer (the female cat that surprised me when he went into heat) are looking at me like I’m very strange. Gibson just sighed and put his head back down…

  4. I was kinda hoping it’d be good, but I’ve never had much luck with Bisquick dessert recipes. Even if they work, they taste like biscuits with extra sugar in them.

  5. Even knowing the results, I don’t think I could resist trying something that had “brownie” in the name and was covered in whipped cream.

  6. What about trying a slice to be polite? Hrumph. I would have at least taken a serving and pushed it around on my plate a bit before binning it. That’s just good manners.

    This may be the first recorded instance of a Bisquick fail. In a strange way, that makes me sad. I think I’m having some sort of existential crisis now. I need a drink. Or pancakes.

    1. I didn’t even want to try it. Like I said, I am not a baker. And I keep subjecting them to shitty food.

      But, yes, this is the first time that an Impossible Pie was just possible and BAD.

      Have a drink!

  7. Were your eggs & butter at room temperature when you started to make the pie? I think if they were still cold from the fridge that they seized up your chocolate and didn’t allow it to mix in. It’s really important in baking that any of your dairy ingredients are at room temperature. And the recipe should have said that.

    I’m sorry no one ate your pie. I would have taken a slice.

  8. I like the idea of a brownie pie so much, I may try to make it – since I *do* have a blender and *don’t* have a stand mixer.

    1. Try it. And use Peggy’s recommendations. I think I did have everything at room temp. But, you know, I am NOT a baker! If you do it, let me know how it turns out!!!

  9. Sigh…how much did these people drink/smoke/shoot when they were dreaming up these recipes? If I grabbed a half-way decent box of brownies, mixed it, and dumped it into a pie tin, THAT would be a brownie pie. But this, this is a mere 4 oz. of chocolate that’s supposed to somehow flavor the whole dish.

    Oh, Impossible Pies, you are indeed impossible!

  10. Boy, of all the pies not to work. What a bummer. I somehow get the impression that retro recipes are not the only quirk your coworkers have observed. 🙂

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