Zumba Soup (Bacon Kale & Chickpea Soup)

I did Zumba for the first time last week. I went to because my friend Iris got me a comped 1 week pass at her gym out in the county (the county!). I figured that if I had the pass, I might as well use it, so I joined her for a class.

I am not a gym person. I find them intimidating, although everyone I know who goes to the gym (and it seems like more and more the people I know are gym people), they all say: no, it’s great! It’s fun! Everyone is so supportive. No one is looking at you!

Yeah, but I’m looking at me. And I know that I don’t glisten when I get hot–I sweat. Like, Whitney Houston on stage sweat. And I turn red. Beet red. Like, omigod is she gonna have an aneurysm? red. I ain’t pretty.

You know how in the gym advertisements, everyone is fit and smiling and wearing spandex capri pants? Well, it turns out that the gym is totally like that–everyone is fit and smiling and wearing spandex capri pants.

But not me! I’m not fit nor smiling, and I sure as hell don’t own any sort of spandex.

This is what I wore to the gym:

Fetching, no? Men’s basketball shorts drive the guys wild with desire, in case you didn’t know.

I must admit that I was lucky–not everyone looked like they fell out of a gym commercial,  because there were a lot of older ladies in my class, and they weren’t wearing spandex. But they were still totally more put together that me.

After this class I realized that my hips do not, in any way, shape or form, work in a sexy, figure 8, latina sort of way. Belly dancing will never be in my wheelhouse. All of the mambo/salsa choreography I somehow mutated into the Charleston and the Twist. There may have been a little Mashed Potato action. And all with little T-Rex arms. I couldn’t stop with the T-Rex arms.

I kinda looked like this (3:25):

Well, at least in my mind because we know that I didn’t look anything like that (see photo of me earlier in this post). However, long story short, I didn’t mind the Zumba. I didn’t mind the gym. I am actually considering getting a membership. So, FYI, hell has frozen over.

And now to the food part of this presentation!

Since the Zumba didn’t commence until 7:30, before I headed out to the gym I whipped together a little soup with what I had in my kitchen, so I’d have something to eat when I got home. I also tried to make it somewhat healthy so as not to counteract all that physical activity.

Oh, let’s just call it Zumba Soup!

• 1 onion, chopped
• 2 slices bacon, diced
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 6 cups broth (chicken or vegetable)
• 1 1/2 tbsp poultry seasoning
• 1 tbsp flour or corn starch
• 1 bay leaf
• kale, washed and torn into pieces (I had about half a bunch)
• 1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed

Cook the bacon until crisp. Remove from pot and then cook the onion and garlic in the bacon fat. Return the bacon to the pot. Add the poultry seasoning and flour/corn starch. Mix together. Add bay leaf and the broth, kale, and chickpeas. Bring to boil and then simmer until kale is cooked to your liking.

This was dee-lish. Here it is with a whisper of Parmesan cheese sprinkled on top:

The kale/chickpea combo really called for sausage, but the bacon and poultry seasoning gave it that same, sage-y savory flavor. But yeah, seriously good and seriously simple!

So this gets a big thumbs up (and some little T-Rex arms).