Wiener Wednesday: Blue Cheese Dogs

Hello, my little Frankophiles! It is Wiener Wednesday and by now all the votes have been counted. The people have spoken and we know that the president is——-oh, but I am writing this on Tuesday night! And I am blissfully unaware of what the returns are because I am watching Gymkata on Encore.

You might be asking yourself, “Why? Why would you want to watch an Olympic gymnast go all hunger games in a fictional Eastern European nation instead of watching American history unfold before your very eyes?”

Well, I do have reasons.

1. Gymkata is out-of-its-gourd insane!
2. Um, did you read the description of the movie that I just gave? It combines the skill of gymnastics with the kill of karate! 
3. Do you think I am lying?
4. I am so over politics. You would be, too, if politics wasn’t your thing but you took a job because you needed a job and worked on the Franco Dok Harris for Mayor of Pittsburgh campaign. And then subsequently lived with a field director/campaign manager for over 2 years. 

I. WILL. NEVER. PHONE. BANK. AGAIN.

But! I am proud that I pulled the lever (or, shall I say, touched the screen) to vote for marriage equality in Maryland. That was super-important to me. To quote the old Virginia Slim ads, you’ve come a long way, baby.

Tonight I made Blue Cheese Dogs from Jiffy Cooking, a Better Homes & Gardens cookbook that has made multiple appearances on this here blog.

Sour cream, onion, mustard, blue cheese–well, that sounds pretty benign. Except for the whole sweet relish thing. So, once the sauce looked like egg salad. And a little barfy. Seriously, what is with all these retro dressings that involve relish and onion and look like vom?

Well, surprise, surprise! Once this was mixed, the sauce wasn’t bad! It tasted like a tartar sauce-blue cheese. Or a blue cheese-tartar sauce. Depending on your tastes that could be awful–but for me it was tasty.

So, slap that sauce on a bun, top it with a frank, wrap it in foil–

stick it in a 400 degree oven, and ten minutes later–

Ta-da! I love it when things are wrapped in foil. Clean up is a snap.

Surprisingly, the potato bun and the Hebrew National dog overwhelmed the sauce a bit.  Weird, right?  But with a little extra scoop of blue cheese on top these were divine. No lies–this little doggie was delicious.

And can I just say that I am still surprised every time I like one of these hot dog dishes? I was never a hot dog kinda girl and here I am every week with a goddamned frankfurter dinner!

But I digress.

To make my dog a meal, I matched it with some collard greens that I made over the weekend. This is a recipe I made up totally on my own with what I had in my house! It makes a damn fine broth. And just because I like you all so much, I’m gonna share that recipe. I’ll even give it a topical name.

Emily’s Electoral Collards 

• 1 bunch of collard greens, washed, big stems removed, and chopped
• 2 or 3 smoked ham hocks (or turkey necks, I suppose)
• 1 quick pickled red onion (or 1 onion sliced and 3 tbsp cider vinegar) *see note
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 packet of Sazon Goya con Azafran (look it up) or use a couple chicken bouillon cubes
• celery and carrots chopped in big pieces (if you have it–if not, no big)
• 1 cup white wine (your choice, but I’m a Pinot Grigio gal, myself!)
• bay leaf
• 1 tsp Old Bay (but of course!)
• water
• 2 tbsp butter
• red pepper flakes to taste (I used  LOTS)
• black pepper to taste (I used LOTS)
• salt to taste
• hot sauce for serving (Crystal Hot Sauce, of course, is best!)

In a big pot put together the ham hocks, garlic, pickled onion (or onion and vinegar),  seasoning packet (or boullion), white wine, bay leaf, Old Bay, red pepper flakes and black pepper in a big ol’ pot. Put in enough water to cover the hocks. Bring to a boil and then simmer, covered, for 2 hours. You could also do this whole thing in a slow cooker, as well–just adjust the times.

After 2 hours, remove the celery, carrots and ham hocks. Discard celery and carrot. Cut off whatever meat that has started to fall off (there won’t be much, it’s a ham hock for crying out loud). Add the meat, the greens, and the butter to the pot. Simmer, covered, for however long you wish–from 1 hour to whenever. I’d definitely recommend 2 or more, however.

Adjust the seasoning before serving or just have hot sauce, pepper, and salt on the table.

*quick pickled red onion–I found the basic recipe on Twitter from someone whose name I can’t remember, but then I tweaked it a bit. 

Sliver red onion. Blanch in boiling water for 1-2 minutes. Drain. Put in enough cider vinegar to cover the onions. Salt a lot. Throw in some black peppercorns, a couple of bay leaves (basically, put in whatever you want–I know they sell “pickling spices”) Simmer for 2-3 minutes more. Let it cool a bit. Put it in a jar. Let it cool more, top it with a lid and then put it in the fridge. I don’t know how long it would keep–I used it the next day to put in the collards!