78. Chicken a la Drag Queen

I believe that it was April 23 when the winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race was supposed be crowned. But Ru, that bitch, said NO! You have to wait until the reunion! Well, that just threw my friend Dan into a tizzy. He screeched and flailed and I lost a wine glass. Yes, he was so distraught and surprised by the twist that he broke things.

So fast forward (well, now rewind) to The REAL finale. And since I was soooooo obsessed with this season and my girl Sharon Needles I had to commemorate it somehow. So in honor of the finale I invited my friends Dan, Jon, and Leah and made 78. Turkey a la King (a la DRAG QUEEN).  With a side of Sausage Balls!

I mean, you can’t get anymore thematic than that.

I started a little bit before 5 by boiling up some chicken breasts (the card says that chicken could be subbed!). While my chicken was cooking I made the radish roses and assembled the relish tray. I love a good relish tray.

Radish roses are insanely easy if you don’t want to get too fancy about it. Just use a paring knife in a very small cross-hatch pattern (not all the way through the radish), and put them in ice water and they’ll open up. Overnight is best, but I was on a deadline.

And now, SAUSAGE BALLS! Specifically, Tripple’s Sausage Balls from Favorite Recipes From The Outer Banks Woman’s Club.

So, Ms. Helen Simpson, purveyor of Tripple’s Sausage Balls, show me what you got!

Well, the ingredients couldn’t be more simple, nor could there be any fewer.

Bisquick + hot sausage + cheese. YES.

So I cooked the sausage and mixed it with the Bisquick and the cheese. But it just wouldn’t stick together. At all.

Well, since these were balls of meat I took a cue from the Italian meatball recipe I use and added a couple eggs to bind the mixture. That did the trick. So I put those aside until my guests arrived and then they went into the oven.

After baking in the oven (these SO took longer than 10 minutes), the result was this:

They look pretty good, right? And they tasted pretty good, too. Although, I do agree with Jon and his refined palate–there was too much Bisquick in relation to the amount of sausage. But that is easily remedied. I’d consider making these again with a few slight adjustments.

Overall, my sausage balls went over really well. I know that I could make some fabulous jokes about tucking, here, but I won’t. I am sure that some of you will, and I look forward to them in the comments section.

So onto the actual dinner. But! First things first: I want to address DiS! regarding the spiced crab apples.

Dear Dinner is Served!,

Pray tell, where does one find a spiced crab apple? A google search just turned up recipes to spice the crab apples. But where does one find a crab apple, period? Do they have that at farmers’ markets? Or is it all PYO out in the country? And why are they called CRAB apples? They don’t seem particularly crabby in taste nor demeanor.

Anyway, I just think that there are times when you ask for too goddamned much. But don’t worry, I still love you.

XOXO,

Emily

OK, the chicken. So I put the meat in a bowl with nutmeg and sherry–although it wasn’t sherry because I didn’t have any in the cupboard (gasp!) and had to use cooking marsala. No big.

And then I went about making the sauce. And I ended up with a proper cream sauce! No lumps, no strings, just a great mushroom cream sauce to which I then added the pimiento, chicken, and peas.

Here it is, #78: Dinner is Served!

Ultimately, it was like an inside-out chicken pot pie. Which is a good thing. I liked this a lot. It wasn’t terribly difficult and it tasted good. And I really liked the idea of putting the chicken cubes in some nutmeg and sherry before putting it into the sauce. It gave an underlying sweetness to the sauce, which was amplified with each pea.

This was very rich, unsurprisingly–there was so much butter and milk and cream in it! I had a lot of leftover chicken sauce and, aside from putting a bit on some pasta the next day, about a cup and a half went to waste. Sad face.

But anyway…drumroll….!Showtime! Finally.

And Sharon was dressed as a mug of beer. Seriously. A Mug. Of. Beer.

It was like Phyllis Diller got knocked up by a bottle of Schlitz and Sharon was their love child. It was glorious. I also like how in the above photo Chad Michaels’ placement is as such that it looks as though she’s wearing a miners’ helmet with her gilded ensemble.

So at the end of the show–after Phi Phi was lambasted for being a bitch (rightfully so) and we finally found out why Willam was kicked off of the show (for having conjugal visits with your hubby? How lame)–the winner was revealed and lo and behold Sharon was crowned America’s Next Drag Superstar.

Pittsburgh is the City of Champions once again! I mean, it’s not the Stanley Cup or a Lombardi, but we’ll take it.

Happy Halloween, bitches!

So on Friday the 5th I went to Baltimore’s Club Hippo to see Sharon Needles in the flesh. I was joined by Jon, Dan, Leah, and Leah’s bf Todd (if you’re regular readers of DiS! you remember Leah and Todd).

Well, what a party that was. The show sold out and her fans turned out and they dressed up–someone actually dressed up in Sharon’s Hot in Tuckahoe beaver costume.

Although my favorites were the guys wearing Party City bags.

Alas, I must say that Sharon was a bit of a disappointment. In the multiple hours that we were there, girlfriend only did 2 songs. TWO!

One was a nod to Baltimore and John Waters’ classic Pink Flamingos (fun fact: the movie premiered in 1972 at the University of Baltimore). Pulling an Edie the Egg Lady, she smashed raw eggs on herself while in a playpen.  Oh, and she lip synced to “I Will Always Love You” in the process.

Her other song was Marilyn Manson. How predictable. Overall, Sharon was entertaining. When she was on stage. She was never on stage!

Oh well, I will always love you, you 412/724 whore. This video contains one of the best Drag Race exchanges ever:

At least I am a Showgirl bitch! Go back to Party City where you belong!

I am going to end this post with what may be my favorite part of season 4–which was in the opening credits of Untucked. I laughed every week and just laughed again now as I put it in this post.

Now, sashay. Away.

P.S. I ended my night at the Hippo dancing with a dude from Gay Life magazine named (I shit you not) Sabre Chase. How frickin’ American Gladiators of him!