8. Quiche Lorraine (Swiss Cheese Pie)

First, I propose a toast. To me. This was my 25th meal. I have officially served dinner 25 times. I am about 20% towards my goal. So I raise my scotch and soda to myself. Em (Miz Yinzerella if you’re nasty), you are totally awesome and this blog is awesome and it’s fantastically awesome that there are people out there reading it (all 14 of you). So yay for me. I am a total badass.

Quiche Lorraine! A French classic. I like how Dinner is Served! felt the need to subtitle #8 for clarification. Well, it seems ridiculous now. In the early 70s I’m sure there were suburban housewives all across the mid-west completely perplexed by the word ‘quiche.’ You know, that French egg pie thing?

All told, making quiche is as easy as pie (pun intended). Aside from the frou-frou name, Quiche Lorraine is rather pedestrian (it must be because I made quite a few quiche while I was in grad school and I didn’t cook in grad school). Here is how to make a quiche..

1.  Saute onion in butter
2.  Shred swiss cheese
3.  Fry bacon and crumble
4.  Mix eggs, milk, and seasonings
5.  Put onions, bacon, shredded cheese in pie shell
6.  Pour dairy mix on top
7. Bake

Of course there are variations on ratio of egg to milk, choice of seasonings, type of pie crust, etc. but it all boils down to that handful of steps.  I followed #8’s basic recipe and used a premade pie shell. And I decided to lighten it up a bit because after 25 meals, the scale has started to creep up a bit. And I won’t have that.

These were my quiche modifications: in lieu of 4 eggs and 2 cups light cream I used 2 whole eggs, 4 egg whites, and 1 1/4 cups fat free evaporated milk. I cooked the onions in Pam spray instead of butter, swapped turkey bacon for pork bacon, and shredded light Lorraine Swiss. I also only put 6 slices in the quiche itself. I used the other 6 to make the ‘bacon flowers’ from #8’s photo. But more on that later.

Okay! It’s time for the timeline!

• 6:00 ready, set, go! Turn on the oven.
• 6:03 the sliced and onion were both on the stove top cooking. In the meantime I put the shell in the dish and prepared the egg/dairy mixture.
• 6:20 once the stove top items were done, they were layered in the pie shell as such: bacon, onion, cheese, egg mixture.
• 6:35 after the obligatory oven temperature tango (too hot! too cold!), the quiche went into the oven.
• 6:46 the tomato salad was completed and placed into the refrigerator to chill. For the salad I went totally remedial. I combined tomato wedges, fresh parsley, and Wishbone fat-free Italian dressing. Seasoned with salt and pepper.
• 6:47 at this point there were 5 minutes remaining for the quiche to be baking at a temperature of 425. But the oven is way past the desired temp. It’s at 500. Why do you hate me oven? Really. I need to know. This a good time for this:

  

• 6:53 so the first 15 minutes of baking were done. I rotated the quiche in the oven and lowered the temperature. You know, in the hopes that my temperamental oven would be so kind to settle at 300. I also made the baked pears: in a small casserole dish I combined 4 drained canned pear halves (in lite syrup) with 1 tbsp of light maple syrup, 1.5 tbsp of the pear juice, and sprinkled cinnamon and nutmeg on top.
• 6:57 I placed the pears in the oven on the rack below the quiche.
• 7:07 I tried my hand at the ‘bacon flowers’ (see the bottom of the post)
• 7:20 at this point I had everything staged for the photo and was just waiting for completed food.
• 7:35 the oven alarm beeped.
• 7:45 plated. photographed.

 

For dessert I dished out the baked pears and some gingersnaps. Nothing of note there. As for the Cold White Wine, I had that before dinner, during dinner, and after. I chose a French white–the name of which I didn’t even bother to write down because it was shitty. You know what wouldn’t have been shitty? A California wine. A California wine inspired by French excellence and vintage dated. A wine that would NEVER be sold before its time. . In the name of all that is holy, you need to watch the two following videos. Number one is rough footage that eventually (by some act of God) became an actual television advertisement (video 2).

AAAAAAAAH! The FRENCH! This totally cracks my shit up. Are you laughing at least a little bit?

Also, I want to thank whomever used search term Facebook Sluts Toledo Ohio which led him or her to this site. Consider me utterly bemused, confused, and amused. Cleve and I have tried to figure out what exactly would lead that particular search to my blog. I am at a loss.

I look forward to my 26th dinner. Brungo out!