Be sure to stock up on Shark Repellent Bat-Spray!
My darlings! I have been neglecting my blog. There are many reasons why, which are too many to go through right now, but please know that although I haven’t written as of late, I have many delightful dishes to share with you in the future (see photo, right).
But first, cocktails!
Due to parties and company, (and the fact that I am an absolute lush) my reserves have been reduced to bitters, vermouth, sherry, Lillet, gin, lemons, oranges, and one can of Blue Moon.
So, I’ve been making cocktails with gin.
Lots of cocktails with gin.
I present to you the Bees’ Knees, Gin Old Fashioned, and Bronx …
Just remember, kittens: adjacent to refuse, is refuse.
Watch the scene here.
Now go to Dunkin Donuts and get yourself an eclair.
On last night’s premiere episode of The Astronaut Wives Club, Mrs. Alan Shepard gets all down in the doldrums either because her husband is in space or because he bangs anything in a bikini down at Cape Canaveral.
Regardless, as she’s home moping, the other wives decide to cheer her up by bringing over food: bubbly, Ambrosia, coffee cake, ham loaf, and Bacon Banana Hollandaise.
As one often does.
I refuse to believe that anyone has made the Banana Hollandiase un-ironically. However, my ears did perk up at the sound of Ham Loaf. Because I’ve made that!
The Ham Loaf recipe, like the New Year’s Eve Pretzel, is from the world-famous Three Rivers Cookbook (seriously, it is famous!) And like the pretzel, I wasn’t looking for it, the loaf just jumped off the page.
Todd and Leah came to visit!
For this special occasion, I decided to make a DiS!.
Actually, scratch that. I was ordered to make a DiS! because Todd and Leah missed our Sunday dinners. And, since I’m a girl who can’t say no, I complied (also, I have to get through these damn cards by the end of the year).
On whichever weekend this was, in between their arrival late Friday night (during the Bruce Jenner/Diane Sawyer interview–this is how far behind I am on posting!), the wedding they attended on Saturday evening, and their departure on Sunday morning, I had to somehow fit in a full meal. Well, there was only one option: brunch.
And who doesn’t love brunch?
People who don’t know what’s good.
And, apparently, this guy:
It’s the 2nd Annual Pieathalon, kittens!
Welcome to my contribution, the Melton Mowbray Pie from the Vincent Price Treasury of Great Recipes. This British recipe was submitted by the lovely Jenny of Silver Screen Suppers, who, happens to be British.
This is a whopper of a recipe.
Lemme walk you through it….
12:30: removed the bone and the fat and all the tendons from a 4.3 lb pork shoulder. Also peeled the delicious skin off of a frozen chunk of Christmas Eve ham that I was still holding onto. Because Christmas Eve ham should never just be tossed into the trash.
1:15: added pork bone to a pot with two pigs feet (I did 2 because I couldn’t find any veal) and the celery, onion, etc. to make stock. On to simmer.
2:00: made pastry with the help of my trusty KitchenAid mixer
2:25: covered dough to rest
2:30: cubed pork shoulder and ham into small cubes and combined with salt, pepper, and sage. It took me a whole frickin half hour to cube the meat!
3:00: knead/cut/roll out dough and lined spring-form pan
Oh, bother. I am so bad at baking/pastry. But I gotta do what I gotta do…
I can’t say enough about this phenomenal television series. And, for serious, yinz guys, why aren’t you watching it yet?
I absolutely love Hannibal. It has all the trademarks of a show that I would be totally down with (see also: Twin Peaks, The X-Files, Six Feet Under, American Horror Story)
Plus, there is Scully.
And, I want to say that Mads Mikkelsen KILLS IT as Hannibal Lecter. He’s the best. Suck it, Hopkins! #SorryNotSorry
So, those are the meats that I bought last weekend.
And yes, oxtails or beef kidney or pig feet (especially the pig feet–heeeeey, Mason Verger!) would have been appropriate, but I decided to go with a dish from my copy of the Playboy’s Host and Bar Book by Thomas Mario (1971 edition).
OK, this may gross you out. Because raw meat. But it’s a good way to introduce steak tartare to those who’ve tasted raw beef!
This doesn’t weird me out because I always taste my meatball mixtures raw to make sure the seasoning is just so AND my Pap Pap was a fan of a Cannibal Sandwich, which I think was just ground beef, salt, and pepper on white bread. And that sounds delicious to me. Is that so wrong?
So, no, I had no qualms about making an uncooked dish.
I couldn’t find a Burgundy, other than big Carlo Rossi jugs, so I went with a Pinot Noir (it was French!). I’m not hating on big Carlo Rossi jugs, because I can make a mean Sangria out of those. But aside from the wine sub, I just halved the recipe and followed it to the T.
I also made my own rye Melba rounds because I had some rye bread in the freezer.
So, here they are. AND THEY ARE DELICIOUS.
Meat? Good. Wine? Good. Capers? Love ’em. Parsley? I grew my own!
Of course, they should be served with a Mason Verger Martini (tears of children optional). Or, perhaps a nice Chianti. (but that should be saved for liver and Fava beans).
I chose a red background, because BLOOD. But my snowflake plate because it’s always snowing. The show is shot in Canada (see also: The X-Files).
I baked some of the meatballs for those of you who may be squeamish or what not.
They were good, but the cooking made them really salty. Raw is the way to go.
Want to see some of the other Hannibal-approved dishes I’ve made? And by Hannibal-approved, I mean anything involving organ meats, check these out:
I asked you, gentle readers, for ideas on what to do with the rest of my pickled ramps, and you gave them to me (thank you!). One of the suggestions–and how the hell did it never occur to me to do this? –was make a COCKTAIL!
Make a Martini with the Vodka or Gin of your choice
Garnish with a ramp or two.
….and that’s it.
Seriously, a Gibson is nothing more than a Martini with a pickled onion garnish in lieu of an olive or a twist.
This is a very, very, yummy drink. And the ramp is an excellent sub for a regular ol’ cocktail onion because the pickled ramps are slightly sweet.
Mmmmmmmmm. Watch out! These go down easy.
And a word of warning: don’t drink them if you’re planning on making out with someone later. Because you will have some monster ramp breath afterwards.
Making out is not a problem for me right now–in that I am not doing any of that at all.
So I guess I’m saying that making out is a problem for me right now….?
Now, after the jump is an excellent infographic to give you the low down on the ins and outs of the Martini, via FIX.COM
Highly informative. You’ll be an expert!
For my final ramp dish, since I had all the white (and red), rooty parts of the plant left, I made a refrigerator pickle.
A damn fine refrigerator pickle!
I went onto the Interwebz and found this recipe from SAVEUR.
SAVEUR’s Pickled Ramps
Long story short:
In a sauce pan, cook and stir until the sugar is dissolved.
Let the mixture cool and then pour it over the ramps in a jar (I used a cleaned spaghetti sauce jar) and close it. Put the jar in the fridge.
The recipe says that it stays for 2 weeks, but I think we all know that refrigerator pickles can last much longer than that.
These are quite tasty–sweet, tangy–the flavor of the ramps just sits in your chest much like when you eat a spicy pepper (or, I guess, a lot of garlic), but these aint’ spicy. Just very RAMPY.
I’ve been taking little bites out of the jar here and there, but I still can’t think of anything that I really want to do with them. Put them on a sandwich? As a side with a piece of what–chicken? Fish?
Do you have any ideas?
I’d love some ideas.
It’s Cher’s 69th birthday!
Now, last year I posted Cher’s recipe for Hawaiian Meatballs American Style; this year I decided to make them!
Hit it Cher!
Literally. Hit it!