GIF of the Week!

No, scratch that. This is a GIF for the AGES!

pizzacat2

 

A cat emerging from a pepperoni pizza hatch? I can watch this for hours.

Also, the cat looks almost exactly like Brian.

For realsies.

brian da cat

 

Everyone, enjoy your holiday weekend! See yinz guys next week!

 

 

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Pretzel Jell-O

It looks like I inadvertently took a vacation from the blog this month, amiright? I’m sorry I haven’t posted all month–but I’ve been ultra-busy and I might (I might!) have an exciting announcement come September.

But! Speaking of September, Labor Day weekend is right around the corner. So I am giving you a recipe that you should definitely make for one of your celebrations. It is Pretzel Jell-O!

Check out the sweet 1980s recipe card from my mum’s collection:

001

005

I don’t know the genesis of this recipe, but I was led to believe that it was a mid-Western thing (those of you in other parts of the country, please tell me if I’m wrong).

But regardless of its origins, it is delicious. It may be my most-favorite gelatin-based dish. And although there are a lot of steps, it’s not that hard. It’s not like those recipes that you have to layer Jell-O on Jell-O and hope they stick. See Jell-O Rainbow Cake.

Let’s get started with STEP ONE!

OF COURSE my mind goes here:

Joey McIntyre is my EVERYTHING.

But I digress. Let’s do this thing.

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Oh Hell NOKCupid

undatableIt’s been a while, hasn’t it? 

The last time I treated you to tales of my dating woe was The DejaDate back in March. I know how much you love hearing about my OKCupid dates, so I opened my good ol’ datebook and looked back to see what I’ve been up to since then. Now we can all laugh (or cry) together over how sad it is to be 35 and single in Baltimore***. 

Let’s start with the Italian doctor. Smart. Accomplished. I’m sure he had a nice retirement fund. He was a real grown-up with a house in the County (and the kid to go with it. Blarg. But whatever). The doctor was really good on paper. Just like Dr. Bradley Meego (does anyone else get this reference?)

paper

Honestly, I don’t know. I’m never with anyone who is good on paper.

Potential, potential, potential. I wanted to like him, but it just wasn’t there. I wish that I was one of those girls who can fake it (and I don’t mean orgasms, I mean interest, attraction and affection). But I just can’t. Hence, I’ll never be a trophy wife.

Well, and I don’t have the tits for it.

Moving forward, there was a guy who is noteworthy only for the fact he has the exact same Vonnegut tattoo as Cleve (for you new friends: that’s ex-boyfriend from over 2 years ago Cleve).  Seriously, that’s the only thing I remember about this dude.

Real talk: is it mandatory for all men under-35 to get Vonnegut tattoos? This was at least the 4th guy I’ve met with one. I don’t want to say it’s cliched, but…

biancaI also had drinks with a musician who, in all his profile pictures, wore a wool cap. He even showed up on the date sporting said wool cap.

It was the end of May.

On a hot day.

What was lurking under that cap? Was he bald? Did he have a Gorbechev birthmark? I will never know. Plus, he was wearing puka shells.

next

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GIF of the Day: On Sandwiches…

 

sandwich2There is a difference between turned on and excited, Carrie.

But the McRib, it does indeed excite me.

Dear, sweet baby Jesus, please let the McRib make a triumphant return to the Mid-Atlantic this fall.

NO ONE BOUGHT THE GODDAMNED MIGHTY WINGS.

 

 

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Cherry Pie Epilogue

Yesterday, after posting the entry in which I lamented the fact that my pie was a big ol’ fail, I received an email from Owen:

If it’s any consolation, Nacho loved the pie…

Just who, pray tell, is Nacho?

Excuse the blurriness. But look at the size of this dog! He’s still a puppy!

Yup.

The email continued:

I nearly killed him. When I woke up yesterday (at the crack of dawn) I found what looked like a murder scene on the kitchen floor, and Nacho had a red beard. A somewhat fitting, albeit depressing end.

Yes, Nacho the giant Labradoodle took down the rest of the pie. Which is not surprising. On Sunday I did have to say after dinner, “Guys, FYI, there is a chicken on your floor.”

If only there were pictures! But I probably wouldn’t be taking snapshots if that happened to me, either.  And I am so happy that didn’t happen to me. Can you imagine? Mop & Glo for weeks.

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Twin Peaks Tuesday: Official Twin Peaks Cherry Pie

Today is the day! I should be receiving my Twin Peaks box in the mail this afternoon. Needless to say, I am very excited. Plus, for this final Twin Peaks Tuesday I’ve saved the best for last: the official Twin Peaks cherry pie!

This recipe, from  Twin Peaks: An Access Guide to the Town, was passed along to me by DiS! reader Keri.

twin peaks guide

twin peaks cherry pie recipe

First things first. I am not a baker. I have made that clear in the About Me section of this blog. But I have overcome my deficiencies when it came to sauces and gravies, so I decided to go into this with a positive attitude. Maybe I could do it!

I started on Saturday by putting the pie crust together:

dough ball

That was without incident. I put it into the fridge, wrapped in plastic (say that in your head like Jack Nance) overnight.

On Sunday morning I made the filling, with frozen cherries.

So here we have the cherries, the cherries draining (I even squished the cherries to get more juice out of them, but I had to add a ton of water to get to 3 cups of juice), and then the juice, boiling, after I added the cornstarch thickening mixture:

DSCN0545[1]draining the cherriescooking the pie filling

Once cooked, I put the thickened sauce on top of the thawed cherries and let that sit.

meanwhile

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Twin Peaks Tuesday: 1 Week Left!

OK, I don’t have any new content. Because I am tired. And the other website went up yesterday. And I’m just not feeling 100% at the moment.

So, to tide you over until next Tuesday, when I will finally get my box set in the mail, here are some Peaks-centric links that will have to get you through to next week.

Twin Peaks

In Twin Peaks

Don’t worry. I have plans to make the official Twin Peaks cherry pie over the weekend. Who wants to invite me over for dinner?

tp pieI hope that mine is just half as good as the one from the Double R Diner.

Want your own copy? But it at Amazon.com

entire mystery

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Yinzerella Comes Alive!

frampton

Man, this is a shitty album cover.

Or whatnot.

Long story short, I was sick of seeing other people pop up with my oh-so-fantastic name.

So yes, random person, you can have the blogspot. And yes, random WTAE anchor, you can call yourself a Yinzerella on your twitter bio.

But I got the gmail. I got the twitter. I got the Pinterest. And the Facebook. And now, friends, I got the .com

Yes, www.yinzerella.com has gone live today.

Granted, it is just a portal to get right back here where you started (that is some meta shit), but I just wanted to own it. I have to own the .com if I am going to build my empire, right? (insert evil laugh here)

I dunno, maybe I’ll do something else with it eventually. Right now it’s just a super-sweet slideshow of awesome things. And pictures of Brian and me (granted, we are awesome things).

Does anyone know anything about trademarking??? I know that I could look that up, but I’m too lazy.  I just spent way too much time putting together gifs of Nicolas Cage and Leonardo DiCaprio.

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Loretta Lynn’s Howdy Spread

Last summer, as my mother and I drove through Tennessee for my pilgrimage to Graceland, we kept seeing these along the highway:

kitchen

We couldn’t stop on the way down, but we knew that we HAD to go swing by Hurricane Mills, TN on our way back.

loretta kitchen

I mean, there was a gift shop!

We both ordered a pretty standard Southern breakfast with eggs, bacon, and grits. I had to have a biscuit with sausage gravy as well because I love biscuits. They are definitely in my top 10 favorite foods. And also, I have a penchant for foods that could eventually kill you. The food wasn’t the greatest, but for kitsch the place gets a 10.

Here is me sitting with the buffalo at the front of Loretta’s kitchen:

loretta lynn's buffalo

Because why wouldn’t there be a buffalo?

Here is my mum with the portrait of Loretta that hangs in the entrance to the restaurant.

Loretta Lynn Kitchen Portrait

Miss Loretta must really love that picture of herself because it is on the cover of this little gem that I found in the gift shop:

Loretta Lynn Cookbook

HELL. YES.

Is it any surprise that I couldn’t leave without buying a copy?

I love these celebrity cookbooks. The best things about this particular one are the weird names of some of the dishes. Like You Ain’t Man Enough Casserole and Louisiana Woman Pie. I assume that those are based on the titles of her songs. But there’s also a recipe for Wiggle, which I have a hard time believing that she ever sang.

For a Memorial Day cookout with Manny and the boys, I chose to make Loretta Lynn’s Howdy Spread. Because I can’t resist a name like that!

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Twin Peaks Tuesday: Maple Syrup

So we already know that Agent Cooper loves cremated bacon and eggs over hard. But how does he like his flapjacks?

Nothing beats the taste sensation when maple syrup collides with ham!

OK, can we agree that Agent Cooper is just one of the best TV characters of all-time? God bless David Lynch for writing him.

Funny thing–as I was thinking about Coop and the maple syrup I was reminded of a very funny scene from Orange is the New Black‘s second season. In episode 11, aptly titled “Hunger Strike,” a handful of prisoners decide to go on strike in protest of the prison’s conditions and treatment of the inmates. But before their demands can be published in the Big House Bugle (the prison’s newspaper), they have to agree on them. One of their demands: better maple syrup in the cafeteria. There’s one problem–Leanne and Angie (the meth heads) can’t decide between the real thing and artificial. I wish I could find a clip of it, because it is just so absurd.

leanneangie

Yeah, they broke their hunger strike when pizza showed up. Who wouldn’t?

So I ask you, kittens–where do you fall in this epic battle? Real maple syrup or Mrs. Butterworth and friends?

I can tell you which kind Mad Men‘s Stan Rizzo prefers.

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