197. Pork Chops and Scalloped Potatoes

Sooooooo, sometimes I will half-write a post, put it in my draft folder, and return to it at a much later date.

This is definitely one of those instances.

Yesterday I opened this post and had no idea what the hell I was reading. Turns out that what I discovered may be the greatest stream-of-consciousness/free-verse poem I’ve ever written. I mean, it’s really something.

ENJOY.

Bush bake beans

hunts snack pack pudding

mrs butterworth syrup

If only I had one of those items and that Dave guy, who I always get confused with Joe Izuzu. Subaru? Was that a car? Izusu?

This show is just pure insanity. I just watched a college kid and his mum have no idea that stouffer’s was in the frozen food aisle. They were wandering purposefully aimlessly.

This show is such a timewarp. oh the number of defunct 1990s food brands!

Fever dream of Price is Right, Word Jumble, Wheel of Fortune, and Pyramid and a Scavenger Hunt Double Dare obstacle course to top it off. BIG SWEEP It’s just insane.

OMG is this game bad. They LOVE a scrambled word game.

SIXTY SECONDS UP FOR GRABS

This or That? Earn 10 seconds if you are correct–wrong? Your opponents get 10. NO, you idiot. Ketchup has more calories than mustard. Obviously this guy has never had to do a weight loss program. Mustard is a dieting gal’s best friend.

LIQUID. BODY. WASH. Softsoap!

I love that they put them in color coordinated sweatshrit swith numbers on them like they are thing 1 and thing 2 and thing 3 from the Dr. Suess book. And, of course, they all have their collars sticking out.

JELLY BELLY and that International Bread Station–a giant pretzel!

olive oil is 23 dollars a container.

5 of each limited.

batteries and charcoal

I want a stuffed bonus Weinermobile!

“bounties of Tide!”

salien solutionf

stupid teenager forfeited a giant coca cola stuffed polar bear to try to grab a few more packs of huggies.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU/

Watching a grown man juggle 5 canisters of metamucil in his arms while trying to drag a giant pack of Big Red down the health and beauty aisle while a middle aged woman tries to wrangle giant gold-foil wrapped hams.

Was Pert Plus really that expensive?

Karen and Michelle with their mom hair and their mom jeans and their KSwiss sneakers.

OH,they got the Dove Soap. And the Campbell’s Soup. And the Arizona Iced Tea. I told you these ladies had this shit down on lock.

I’m into episode 3.

It’s wonderful. It’s wild, it’s amazing. You’ll never know what happens on Supermarket Sweep.

Shit, why don’t they bring this back?

I hate Guy Fieri, but I love GGG, I guess because it is the

A guy named Kris with a mustache barreling down the aisles trying to find magic Jello and get it back to the register in time. He nearly propelled himself into the frozen foods section. Dave Izuzu had to grab him by the arm so he didn’t take out the camera crew.

Sensible sweater sets.

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Posted in 1970s, creative writing, Food, Jell-O, poetry, Pork, Potatoes, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes, television | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

That Cosmopolitan Man, Burt Reynolds

So I’ve been temporarily banned from Facebook because I shared the iconic Burt Reynolds’ 1972 Cosmopolitan spread.

The photo apparently violates Facebook’s policy on nudity and sexuality.

The same exact photo that has appeared on the Dinner is Served 1972 Facebook page multiple times over the past seven years.

You all know it.

Because it is legendary.Yeah, that photo is offensive.

Unanimously offensive!

Facebook has issued formal apologies to users, like yours truly, who had the photo removed.

So, you’re sorry. Whatever.

Let’s examine the possible reasons why a photo such as this–where there is no actual nudity–would be ‘banned.’

Reasons could include:

  • absolute double standards as to what is or is not considered nudity based on the male gaze
  • the dead animal rug
  • an amount of body hair goes against the current trends in male grooming
  • threatened masculinity in the presence of that amount of MAN.

Feel free to add your own reasons.

OH! And it’s not Facebook that’s necessarily doing it. I’ve been informed that in order for a post is deemed ‘inappropriate’ someone has to ‘report’ it to the Facebook powers that be.

So who the hell is the prudish fuddy duddy is that keeps putting this under the category of porn?

THIS IS NOT PORN!

I can’t share this on Facebook. Because: banned. But if you want to fight the power, please like the Dinner Is Served 1972 page and share this link!

But not this photo. Burt’s bum may get you banned for LIFE.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in 1970s | Tagged , , | 9 Comments

BH&G All-Time Favorite Salad Recipes: Crab-Stuffed Avocados (1984)

So, is it as hot wherever you are as it is here?

We’re enjoying another Code Red Heat Alert Day here in Baltimore City.

That basically means that no matter what you do, as soon as you get outside–you’re gonna have swamp ass.

Triple degree heat indexes for everyone!

I am currently enjoying central AC, and I hope that you are, too.

Because, if you aren’t, you’ve probably already died from heat stroke. And that sucks.

Sorry you died.

But if you have survived the heat (or you are a lucky jagoff who is somewhere where it’s not a bazillion degrees) I offer you some chilled fare that is fitting for this nasty-ass weather: Crab-Stuffed Avocados.

It’s the dish in the lower right hand corner of the cover of Better Homes and Gardens All-Time Favorite Salad Recipes (1984).

I made a very similar dish back in 2014, Avocado and Egg Salad, which is from the same cookbook. And I made that dish in 2014 because, like now, it’s HOT AS BALLS out and I didn’t want to turn on the oven.

This is the recipe for the Avocado and Egg Salad:

And this is the one for the Crab-Stuffed Avocados:

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Posted in Food, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes, Salad, Shellfish | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

5th Annual Pieathalon: Kate’s Pie (1985)

IT’S THE PIEATHALON!

Can you believe it’s been 5 years?

I can’t. I really can’t.

In the five years since I’ve been the mastermind behind Pieathalon:

Another Pieathalon later and I am still in the condo with Brian Boitano and Margot, but we’ve added Mr. Sauce, Esq. (and his plethora of belongings) to the mix.

And now all together we are celebrating Pieathalon 5 with the oddly named Kate’s Pie!

This recipe comes from the British cookbook  Marvellous Meals With Mince (1985) authored by Josceline Dimbley and it was assigned to me by Sally at My Custard Pie.

So let’s get started!

If you were paying attention in my last post, Male Chauvinist Chili, I was cooking the ground beef for both the chili and this pie at the same time. Because I am a multi-tasker, goddamnit!

Since this was a melding of both dishes, the meat mix included onion, garlic, oil, 1.3 pounds ground beef, and chili powder. The onion was from the chili. Not the pie.

Anyway, since I am such a multi-tasker while the beef cooked, I chopped the assorted peppers for the chili and chopped the hard boiled eggs for the pie.

When the meat mix was done, I removed 1/2 lb of the meat and put it in the crock pot for the chili. Into a casserole dish (I didn’t have a pie pan big enough!!!!) went the remaining meat, corn and the chopped egg.

So this recipe is weird, right?

To make the butter/flour/milk mix, I didn’t want to use another pan, so I just used the beef pan. That mix then went on top of the beef/egg/corn mixture.

But seriously, this is still a weird combo, right?

So I let the “pie” cool for 3 hours or so before covering it with puff pastry.

The recipe said to “use the trimmings for decoration.” So I may have gone bonkers with my tiny little aspic and hors d’ourvers cutters.

It’s like the Lucky Charms leprechaun vomited on it.

Now one of the things I know about puff pastry is that it needs more than 30 minutes to fully do it this thing. I learned this because of Chopped. So many times the contestants get to the 3rd round and choose puff pastry as a dessert. It never cooks all the way.

So the judges either get raw dough, or nothing at all.

via GIPHY

Anyway, I had ample time for the puff pastry. Perhaps more time than necessary.

I charred the edges. I even covered the edges with foil and everything. Whatevs.

So, how was it?

Odd. Not bad. But odd.

A little Mexican-y because of the ground beef and the corn and the chili powder.

But quiche-y because of the milk custard.

And the puff pastry is totally British-y pot pie.

I don’t know where the hell the chopped egg fits in. Mr. Sauce said it was kinda like tofu because there was no flavor. So I guess the egg was just filler. For the filling. Filling Filler.

This is the only explanation for this weird combo–which is provided by the book’s author:

My youngest daughter Kate has always loved pies. For weeks I had been working on recipes for this book ad every evening her suppers had been made up of rather exotic experiments. “I just want a pie,” she begged. So I made this one, a sort of Southern pie: beef with a slight bite of chilli mixed with eggs and sweetcorn, topped with a fresh parsley sauce and puff pastry. She like it, so did her friends and so did the “grown-ups.”

OK, this still makes no sense to me. But you do you, Josceline.

Now everyone go check out the other TWENTY THREE pieathletes and see their pies!

It’s not from a Vintage Recipe Card! Surly made a Dutch Peaches and Cream Pie

Kelli at Kelli’s Kitchen whips up a Chocolate Mousse Pie

Dr. Bobb experiments with Ritz Cracker Mock Apple Pie

Marguerite Patten’s Cheese Pie is on the menu over at Kelly’s Velveteen Lounge Kitsch-en

Jenny at Silver Screen Suppers put Sweet Onion Pie to the test

Kari, The Nostagic Cook, presents The Tansey

The Granny Pantries are open as Poppy Crocker tries her hand at a Strawberry Ginger Pie

The Battenburg Belle gets her bake on with a Frosty Vanilla Pie

What is Mock Pecan Pie? Find out with Sally at My Custard Pie

Taryn tries her hand at Vincent Price’s Pineapple Meringue Pie at Retro Food for Modern Times

Camilla goes on another Culinary Adventure by making a Peaches and Cream Tart

Peter Fuller, the curator of Vincent Price Legacy, UK gets all cute with a Puddin n’ Pie

Say ‘bon jour’ to Renee’s French Raspberry Pie over at Tortillas and Honey

The Unofficial Mad Men Cookbook goes Hawaiian with Aloha Meringue Pie

A pie called The Millionaire? What? Mimi at Once Upon a Salad will find out!

Sue, of Vintage Cookbookery (and the world record holder for the largest privately owned cookbook collection) serves up Yul Brenner’s Walnut Pie

I don’t know who Tyler is, but he has a pie. Go visit Wendy at A Day in the Life on the Farm

Go inside the Heritage Recipe Box with Clara and an Olde English Egg Nog Pie

Open the Book of Cookrye and discover Cool Mint Cookie Pie

Debra at Eliot’s Eats gets fruity with an Apricot Meringue Pie

Join Judy, Vicki, and The Book Club CookBook for the questionable “Almost a Pie”

The classic Seafoam Cantaloupe Pie is what’s for dessert at Recipes4Rebels

Kaci, the Homicidal Homemaker, presents Lemon and Beer. In a sponge pie!

Posted in Food, Ground Beef, International Cuisine, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes | Tagged , , , , , , | 26 Comments

Male Chauvinist Chili (1975)

I know what you’re thinking. Cooking chili in the middle of August?

Yes, but:

CROCK-POT!

I intended to recreate this illustration with the ingredients, but I got sidelined since I was simultaneously prepping for Pieathalon.

The most cooking I did was browning 2 sausage links and some ground beef (which served a dual purpose, as said meat will be featured in my upcoming PIEATHALON entry). I nixed the bacon because all I had was turkey bacon, and I think that this chili wasn’t lacking in the meat department.

For convenience–since I am a working girl and all–I put all of the ingredients into a slow cooker bag (what a clever invention) the night before and put it in the fridge. All I had to do in the AM was take the bag out of the fridge, put it into the crock and press ON.

It cooks all day while the cook’s away!

But you know that I made damn sure that there wasn’t anything remotely close to my unattended crock pot.

Because:

Related imageImage result for this is us crock pot

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Posted in cookbooks, Food, Ground Beef, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

David Bowie’s Penne Putanesca (1988)

Well, I found another cookbook that I desperately want–the 1998 WMMR RocknRoll Celebrity Cookbook.

“I promise you that I do cook myself (as taught to me by my good friend, Francesca Boglione).”

Really, David? I don’t see him eating let alone cooking. I mean, According to David Buckley, the author of the book Strange Fascination: David Bowie: The Definitive StoryBowie’s diet in the mid-1970s consisted of red peppers, cocaine, and milk. 

Which explains why his Thin White Duke was so thin.

It’s actually not far off from Beyonce’s Dreamgirls diet: lemonade comprised of cayenne pepper, lemons, and grade B maple syrup. She lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks.

And who is this mysterious Francesca Boglione who supplied the recipe? She doesn’t exist. The friend in question is FrancescO Boglione. He and his wife Gael were friends with Bowie. He is even the godfather of one of their daughters. 

Gael described him:

 “David was the most beautiful man. I met him when I was 19 in New York and then when I got together with Francesco, David lived round the corner [in South Kensington] and we all got on so well. He was one of the most gentle, inspiring human beings I’ve ever met. And funny – really funny.”

Got it?

Good.

amazon uk

Bowie’s recipe is…vague. It’s just throwing unspecified amounts of ingredients into a pot and seeing what happens.

This is what I did:

  • Tossed one full can of anchovies in olive oil into pan.
  • Cooked garlic and 1/2 diced red bell pepper in anchovy/oil. (Bowie/Boglione may have meant roasted red peppers, but this was the next best thing).
  • I added 2 cans of Italian stewed tomatoes. There was no mention of cutting the tomatoes and they were whole, so I just took the kitchen shears to them and got them into smaller pieces.
  • Black olives. Just regular old black olives? No Italian would do such a thing; I had a new jar of kalamata olives, so I chopped up a handful of those (let’s say a half cup).
  • I threw in 1/4 cup capers.
  • I put the lid on and let it simmer for about 30 minutes.

I didn’t have penne or ziti in the cupboard, so I went with farfalle.

Here is the result:

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Posted in cookbooks, Food, International Cuisine, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

188. Mediterranean Salad (BOOM!)

This is a perfect meal for summer weather–because the most cooking that it calls for is the boiling of some eggs and potatoes (you could just buy those tiny canned potatoes).

Together they devour life (and bottles of gin)

This is also the perfect meal for me to talk about the a movie I just watched–1968’s BOOM! starring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.

And OMG yinz guys. It was a cinematic experience like no other.

The scenery is fantastic. It was filmed on Isola Piana, a small island with high limestone cliffs just off Capo Caccia, northwest Sardinia.

Sardinia is in the Mediterranean Sea; this is a Mediterranean Salad! Get it? OK, if you want to get super-specific it’s in the Tyrrhenian Sea, but whatevs.

I 100% believe that this movie was made solely as an excuse for Burton and Taylor to live on a glamorous yacht for the duration of filming. (I wonder if she had Chasen’s Chili shipped to Sardinia like she did when she was shooting Cleopatra in Rome?).

This movie has it all!

  • a dwarf Nazi with a pack of guard dogs!
  • Sitar players!
  • a monkey inexplicably chained to an exterior wall!
  • Noel Coward (!) as The Witch of Capri!
  • Elizabeth Taylor throwing medical equipment off of a cliff!
  • Little villas that look they came from Tatooine!

There’s said monkey and little huts.

The pink hut houses a pink, satin, circular bed. And an indoor pool. It’s like the fucking Poconos.

There’s also a huge mural featuring Godzilla attacking an Italian village.

I’m not joking.

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Posted in 1970s, Food, International Cuisine, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes, Salad | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

Cowboy Day Cook-Along: Elvis Presley’s Quick Chicken Supper Skillet

Saturday is Cowboy Day! And to celebrate, Greg over at Recipes4Rebels coordinated the 3rd Cowboy Day Cook-Along.

I couldn’t find an actual “cowboy” dish, but I use the term “cowboy” loosely and I’ll take inspiration where I find it. So I selected a dish from Are You Hungry Tonight? Elvis’ Favorite Recipes, which is a favorite cookbook of mine.

I chose Elvis’ Quick Chicken Supper Skillet because next to it is picture of Elvis in cowboy drag from his role in a dramatic film called Charro!

 

No, not CHARO.

It’s Charro! 

I love the tagline for this film.

A different kind of roll…A different kind of man.

The don’t think the movie is free to stream online, so here’s the title song:

And here is the skillet:

The photo isn’t great. I was hosting some of Mr. Sauce’s friends, so I didn’t get a staged photo or anything. But this was tasty. And EASY. I’d equate it to some reaaaaaaly good rice-a-roni. It’s much better than Rice-a-roni, of course, but you catch my drift.

I served it with Elvis’ collard greens. I totally changed up the recipe, though. I made mine with smoked turkey necks, onion, garlic, Crystal Hot Sauce and a lot of this Bermudian sherry rum pepper sauce.

It is delicious. I have no idea where it came from, it was just in my fridge one day. It’s great with greens.

I topped off the dinner with a Strawberry Sunshine Pie, but I’m saving that for a later post while we ramp up for the 5th Annual PIEATHALON, which is taking place on Monday, August 20. So mark your calendars! 

I promise that this one is shaping up to be a banger. I have more than 20 bloggers participating!

Again, Greg from Recipes4Rebels contributed this year’s artwork. Thank you, Greg!

 

 

Posted in cookbooks, Food, Recipes | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

191. Grasshopper Pie

In anticipation for next month’s 5th Annual Pieathalon I present to you another card from the DiS1973 card series—191. Grasshopper Pie.

I made this pie to cap off dinner 158. Beef Wellington which I made for The Lost Family Dinner Party.

I made card 191 as easy as I could (easy as pie!) by purchasing a Keebler pre-maid “Oreo” pie crust. Also, the direction “Line bottom and sides of a 9-inch pie pan with cookies,” seemed reaaaaaly vague.

Are they crushed? Is there a binder? Do they mean Oreos? Why aren’t you telling me what kind of cookies, Dinner is Served?

But, whatever. I bought the crust. Easy.

But not so easy?  Mr. Sauce and I had to go on a little bit of an adventure about town to find Creme de Menthe that was green and Creme de Cacao that was white. We went to 3 (three!) different liquor stores. We were able to find some of the green stuff, but Creme de Cacao we could only find in chocolate brown, so  I was concerned that this pie wouldn’t be a pretty pastel–but instead the color of baby poop.

But fear not!

With the help of some green food coloring, I was able to get it to a suitable shade of mint.

Here it is:

I didn’t have a fern on hand, so I threw an orchid in there.

The whipped cream decorations would’ve been so much better if I had not mistakenly grabbed the Fat Free Reddi-Whip. It just kinda melted down once it hit the surface of the pie. So that’s kinda sad.

But it tasted great. I loved this pie!

Which is no surprise, I love mint chocolate chip ice cream. I love York Peppermint Patties. I go wild for a Junior Mint.

via GIPHY

Plus, this had booze in it!

100% would make again. Which perhaps I will because I went through so much effort to find the Creme de Menthe and Creme de Cacao.

A reminder! If you are a food blogger and want to get in on the hot Pieathalon action, you have until Friday.

If you’re interested, please email me at yinzerella@gmail.com to sign up.

Posted in Dessert, Food, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes, television | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Bisquick Impossible Pies: Zucchini-Tomato Pie

So, it turned out that I didn’t make all 12 the Bisquick Impossible Pies from The Bisquick “No Time To Cook Recipe Book” (1983) like I thought I did. I don’t know how I missed one, but I did–Zucchini-Tomato Pie.

From ClickAmericana.com

I love me an Impossible pie. I say this to Impossible Pies:

That is, except for the Brownie Pie.

Brownie Pie can suck it.

Related/unrelated: anyone else watch the finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race season 10?

My reaction to that:

Anyway, Impossible Zucchini-Tomato Pie.

This recipe has been sitting around, unmade for 4 years.

But I finally remedied that. Here it is:

How you like that garnish?

This was pretty damn good.  It had a more substantial “pie crust” part at the bottom of it. Maybe because I used Gluten-Free Bisquick (and put in more than the recipe called for)?

And it was totally pizza-ish. I sprinkled some oregano and red pepper flakes on the leftovers and it totally tasted like pizza.

So there you have it! All TWELVE of the Bisquick Impossible Pies!

I have another Gluten-Free Bisquick recipe in the pipeline from my 1973 copy of Betty Crocker’s Bisquick Cookbook.

I’ll be sharing that one soon!

 

Posted in cookbooks, Food, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments