34. Herb Broiled Chicken

I am chicken.

Well, I made chicken, yes.

Specifically this dinner, 34. Herb Broiled Chicken. But I am chicken, as well.

IMG_20140916_214936_713

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Lemme explain.

meatball bounty

Meatball extravaganza!

It was about this time last year I was dating Mr. Buckeye. Do you remember Mr. Buckeye? He was the meatball guy. From that BH&G Cooking for Two, there was the Double Up and Divide section, so I made 48 meatballs, which were then meted out in 4 different dinners: Meatballs Stroganoff, Oven Meatballs in Barbecue Sauce, Meatballs in Sauerbraten Sauce, and Spaghetti and Meatballs.

Sadly, we will never know how the spaghetti and meatballs were. This is why…

Things were going swimmingly with Mr. Buckeye–we’d see each other about twice a week. We’d go out to dinner, watch Ohio State games and NFL games together, shoot guns (yes, shoot guns). He would make me breakfast. I both dropped him off and picked him up at the airport. The airport pick up is a big thing, amiright? I even watched NASCAR with him. NASCAR!

We saw a lot of each other. It was fun. Easy. And he was really easy on the eyes. Like, super-easy on the eyes (think young, hot, Alec Baldwin). I am not kidding you, kittens. The little bitch was a looker.

So I thought: OMG, I kinda have a boyfriend! And then: Do I have a boyfriend? It sure seems like I have a boyfriend. 

The night before Thanksgiving (we were going to a Thanksgiving dinner together), I prepped root vegetables to be roasted the next day and he baked an apple pie (how cute is that? He even wore an apron).

After doing all the baking and prepping, we sat on the couch and drank scotch. He showed me on his phone a picture of something or other (probably his dog) and the phone scrolled down to a text conversation between him and his mother. I caught the words: Her name is Crystal. She’s a waitress, but I see real potential there.

Me (like an idiot): Are you trying to get this girl a job?

Him (talking to me like the idiot that I am): No, babe, I’m dating her.

exqueezeme

Exsqueezeme? Baking powder?

What the ever-loving fuck?

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Posted in 1970s, Chicken, dating, Etc., Food, Fruit, Poultry, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes, Salad | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

GIF of the Week (one day early)

I don’t know why decided to start doing these on Fridays. Oh, no, that’s right, it’s because I’m lazy and can’t find the motivation and/or time to write as of late.

And, yes, I know it’s not Friday, but in anticipation of tonight’s Steelers vs Ravens game, I thought I’d share this gem from last week’s game:

antonio drop kick

I don’t think this will never not be funny. It was like a Mortal Kombat finishing move.

I actually rank this right up there with The Butt Fumble.

buttfumble

OK, nothing will ever be as funny as that. I’ve been giggling like a lunatic at this since I typed “butt fumble” into Google.

Although this may be close:

Nah, The Butt Fumble is still better.

If you’re watching the game tonight, enjoy! And GO STEELERS!

 

 

 

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12. Lamb and Eggplant Bake

The good? This dinner. This was actually a very yummy dinner.

The bad? This dinner.

Why? Becausee this was the last DiS! dinner that I had with Leah and Todd.

No, nothing bad happened–actually a lot of good happened–they relocated to their beloved Columbus, Ohio to go be adult, married people and eventually have babies and shit.

But before they went (well, Leah went first back in May), I had to make one last dinner. And I chose this one because I could do a lot of it ahead of time. So we could hang out more and stuff.

DSCN0590[1]DSCN0589[1]Look at all the *May be prepared early in the day and refrigerated.

Let’s get to everything I did earlier that day…

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Posted in 1970s, Food, Ground Beef, International Cuisine, Lamb, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes | Tagged , , , , , | 13 Comments

Joan Rivers’ Toast

 

Joan Rivers Toast

I can’t be sure, but this might be from “Made With Love: The Meals on Wheels Family Cookbook.”

This recipe sounds like a winner. Especially the holiday version.

Joan was a brassy, brash, resilient, smart, funny, ballsy broad with no fucks to give (and she liked big jewelry). She’s definitely one of my role models.

I want to grow up and be this awesome (Birkin bag and shiny scarf included):

Joan+Rivers+shows+thoughts+Oscars+sticks+up+9XmTbqIbRaul

I want to share a clip of her from The Ed Sullivan Show back in 1967. Here she talks about being a single gal:

I feel you, girl. Except for the bit about Howard Johnson’s. I’d be thrilled to go to the HoJo’s.

You’ll be missed, Joan. Thanks for all the laughs.

I hope the first thing she said to St. Peter at the pearly gates  was “who are you wearing?”

 

 

Posted in dating, Etc., Food, humor, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

GIF of the Week!

No, scratch that. This is a GIF for the AGES!

pizzacat2

 

A cat emerging from a pepperoni pizza hatch? I can watch this for hours.

Also, the cat looks almost exactly like Brian.

For realsies.

brian da cat

 

Everyone, enjoy your holiday weekend! See yinz guys next week!

 

 

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Pretzel Jell-O

It looks like I inadvertently took a vacation from the blog this month, amiright? I’m sorry I haven’t posted all month–but I’ve been ultra-busy and I might (I might!) have an exciting announcement come September.

But! Speaking of September, Labor Day weekend is right around the corner. So I am giving you a recipe that you should definitely make for one of your celebrations. It is Pretzel Jell-O!

Check out the sweet 1980s recipe card from my mum’s collection:

001

005

I don’t know the genesis of this recipe, but I was led to believe that it was a mid-Western thing (those of you in other parts of the country, please tell me if I’m wrong).

But regardless of its origins, it is delicious. It may be my most-favorite gelatin-based dish. And although there are a lot of steps, it’s not that hard. It’s not like those recipes that you have to layer Jell-O on Jell-O and hope they stick. See Jell-O Rainbow Cake.

Let’s get started with STEP ONE!

OF COURSE my mind goes here:

Joey McIntyre is my EVERYTHING.

But I digress. Let’s do this thing.

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Posted in Dessert, Food, Fruit, Jell-O, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Oh Hell NOKCupid

undatableIt’s been a while, hasn’t it? 

The last time I treated you to tales of my dating woe was The DejaDate back in March. I know how much you love hearing about my OKCupid dates, so I opened my good ol’ datebook and looked back to see what I’ve been up to since then. Now we can all laugh (or cry) together over how sad it is to be 35 and single in Baltimore***. 

Let’s start with the Italian doctor. Smart. Accomplished. I’m sure he had a nice retirement fund. He was a real grown-up with a house in the County (and the kid to go with it. Blarg. But whatever). The doctor was really good on paper. Just like Dr. Bradley Meego (does anyone else get this reference?)

paper

Honestly, I don’t know. I’m never with anyone who is good on paper.

Potential, potential, potential. I wanted to like him, but it just wasn’t there. I wish that I was one of those girls who can fake it (and I don’t mean orgasms, I mean interest, attraction and affection). But I just can’t. Hence, I’ll never be a trophy wife.

Well, and I don’t have the tits for it.

Moving forward, there was a guy who is noteworthy only for the fact he has the exact same Vonnegut tattoo as Cleve (for you new friends: that’s ex-boyfriend from over 2 years ago Cleve).  Seriously, that’s the only thing I remember about this dude.

Real talk: is it mandatory for all men under-35 to get Vonnegut tattoos? This was at least the 4th guy I’ve met with one. I don’t want to say it’s cliched, but…

biancaI also had drinks with a musician who, in all his profile pictures, wore a wool cap. He even showed up on the date sporting said wool cap.

It was the end of May.

On a hot day.

What was lurking under that cap? Was he bald? Did he have a Gorbechev birthmark? I will never know. Plus, he was wearing puka shells.

next

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Posted in dating, humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

GIF of the Day: On Sandwiches…

 

sandwich2There is a difference between turned on and excited, Carrie.

But the McRib, it does indeed excite me.

Dear, sweet baby Jesus, please let the McRib make a triumphant return to the Mid-Atlantic this fall.

NO ONE BOUGHT THE GODDAMNED MIGHTY WINGS.

 

 

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Cherry Pie Epilogue

Yesterday, after posting the entry in which I lamented the fact that my pie was a big ol’ fail, I received an email from Owen:

If it’s any consolation, Nacho loved the pie…

Just who, pray tell, is Nacho?

Excuse the blurriness. But look at the size of this dog! He’s still a puppy!

Yup.

The email continued:

I nearly killed him. When I woke up yesterday (at the crack of dawn) I found what looked like a murder scene on the kitchen floor, and Nacho had a red beard. A somewhat fitting, albeit depressing end.

Yes, Nacho the giant Labradoodle took down the rest of the pie. Which is not surprising. On Sunday I did have to say after dinner, “Guys, FYI, there is a chicken on your floor.”

If only there were pictures! But I probably wouldn’t be taking snapshots if that happened to me, either.  And I am so happy that didn’t happen to me. Can you imagine? Mop & Glo for weeks.

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Twin Peaks Tuesday: Official Twin Peaks Cherry Pie

Today is the day! I should be receiving my Twin Peaks box in the mail this afternoon. Needless to say, I am very excited. Plus, for this final Twin Peaks Tuesday I’ve saved the best for last: the official Twin Peaks cherry pie!

This recipe, from  Twin Peaks: An Access Guide to the Town, was passed along to me by DiS! reader Keri.

twin peaks guide

twin peaks cherry pie recipe

First things first. I am not a baker. I have made that clear in the About Me section of this blog. But I have overcome my deficiencies when it came to sauces and gravies, so I decided to go into this with a positive attitude. Maybe I could do it!

I started on Saturday by putting the pie crust together:

dough ball

That was without incident. I put it into the fridge, wrapped in plastic (say that in your head like Jack Nance) overnight.

On Sunday morning I made the filling, with frozen cherries.

So here we have the cherries, the cherries draining (I even squished the cherries to get more juice out of them, but I had to add a ton of water to get to 3 cups of juice), and then the juice, boiling, after I added the cornstarch thickening mixture:

DSCN0545[1]draining the cherriescooking the pie filling

Once cooked, I put the thickened sauce on top of the thawed cherries and let that sit.

meanwhile

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Posted in Dessert, FAIL, Food, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments