Hannibal Lecter’s Sweet Italian Sausage

Today we invite Hannibal the Cannibal back into my kitchen and make his sweet Italian sausage. Does that make this a Wiener Wednesday??? I think it does!

If you recall, I purchased 3 recipe cards that were used as props on the most excellent TV show, Hannibal (R.I.P.). And, as with Hannibal’s Pork Liver With Bacon (check it if you missed it), I had to do a little research on making sausage, since the ingredients on the front of the card didn’t correspond to the cooking directions on the back.

Let’s just say that I have watched A LOT of sausage videos on youtube.

As with the Pork Liver, this recipe card is from the Season 1 episode “Sorbet.” In this episode, Will Graham and company think they are tracking someone who is harvesting organs to sell them on the black market…or are they?

This is one of my favorite moments of the entire series. I love ya, Scott Thompson!

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And then:intestines

Cut to:

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Hell yeah, the Chesapeake Ripper made sausages! And here’s the recipe…

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Happy National Tequila Day!

It may be a little late, since Sunday is, like, halfway done. But IT’S NATIONAL TEQUILA DAY! And, man, it’s a good day for Tequila. It’s hot as balls here in Baltimore.

And apparently it’s hot as balls all across the country (are you somewhere that is NOT in the 90s? Where is that? Can I come stay at your house?).

Anyway, in honor of this high holy day, I thought I’d share a few posts from the past that are tequila-centric.

OLE!

First up is my Cara Cara Margarita featuring Rick’s Chickpeas, which I made in honor of National Margarita Day back in February:

Click on me for the cocktail and stay for the chickpeas!

A Beverage Bonus Tequila Sunrise from January, 2014:

Click on me for a Tequila Sunrise in the snow!

And lastly, my Tequila Punch from my chili buffet party I just had over Memorial Day weekend:

tequila punch recipe

Click on me and watch me make punch!

There was even tequila in the chili!

So go check em’ out, and keep cool kittens! Cheers!

Posted in Beverages & Cocktails, Food, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes | Tagged , , | 10 Comments

Jon Voight’s Artichokes, California-Style

Round ’em up, little dogies! National Day of the Cowboy is July 24th!

In honor of the occasion, Greg over at Recipes For Rebels (also the name of his James Dean-themed cookbook) decided to host an ol’ fashioned cook-along blog-along hootenanny. He was nice enough to invite me over to whip up a dish.

Although we were encouraged to follow a menu specifically designed for the day, the only real rule is that the dish had to be cowboy-themed.

But it wasn’t explicitly stated that it had to be any particular type of cowboy, so why not a Midnight Cowboy?

Hey-oooooo!

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“If I find something I particularly like, I feel wonderful. It’s a very funny feeling. Almost sexual. I had a martini one time…I’ve probably had four martinis in my life…I said “This is the best martini I ever had.” It was a normal martini, but I went crazy.”

20160719_172035This recipe comes from Johna Blinn’s Celebrity Cookbook (1981).

Let’s see how it went:

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Posted in 1970s, cookbooks, Food, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes, Vegetables | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

On Double Boilers…and Happy 4th of July!

For some reason, in my Pieathalon Peanuts-and-Beer Pie post, my use of a double boiler just fascinated people. I guess because so few people own them?

Well, this is the one that I actually used to make that pie:

Double boiler

And this is the one that Mr. Kinsey gave me for my own personal use:

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Isn’t it the absolute cutest?

And the best thing of all is that it perfectly matches my kitchen, so it has a place of honor on my stove top (also, my cabinets are kinda super-full).

When I moved into my house, I decided to base the entire kitchen around this old Cosco step-stool chair that I got from Avenue Antiques (RIP).

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I love it so much that I painted my cabinets to match. And I really get use out of it because my cabinets were mounted so fucking high.

Seriously. Look how high those cabinets are:

cabinet shot

Click on the pic to subscribe to my youtube channel!

What kind of giants lived in this house before me?

There are all kinds of little lemon touches throughout the kitchen–my 1972 hanging calendar poster

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And this creepy little chef guy with yellow hair that my friend Kevin gave me for my housewarming party (hence, I call it Kevin).

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I wish that I could go all out. Change the linoleum. Get a new oven. I’d love one of these from BlueStar. It’d match my kitchen perfectly.

yellow oven

www.bluestarcooking.com

It has a frickin charbroiler in the middle of it. I WANT IT.

And maybe an orange or avocado fridge. Does someone make those?

Anyway, today Mr. Kinsey and I are packing up his Camry and making a trip to Pittsburgh, Land of Yinzerella. We’re gonna do a lot of touristy shit while we’re there, so there are travel videos on the horizon (yeah, Kennywood!). But, since I’m gonna be away, I’m going to miss the 4th. So here are the few things that I’d post for the holiday:

Deano & Lee getting their stars & stripes on:

patriotic

Little Edie’s famous flag dance:

And my recreation from Halloween:

See you next week!

 

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The Poconos: Land of Sex, Kitsch, & Hot Tubs

So, as a lot of you know, when I was a wee girl I would flip through the AAA tour books of PA and NJ and would think of all the places I would like to go–the Jersey Coast, Philadelphia, and the most magical place of all, The Poconos.

The ads for each resort featured glamorous couples in heart-shaped hot tubs, with flutes of champagne and rose petals everywhere. And the most fantastic of all the resorts had 2-story champagne glass hot tubs filled with, what I was sure would be, strawberry-scented bubbles.

With all the mirrors and the candles and the flowers and those round beds–it was all so exotic to me. And it screamed FANCY. Like, you know you’ve made it when you get to stay in a place like that. I wanted to be one of the glamorous people who looked like they just stepped right off the set of Dallas and into one of these deluxe suites.

This Poconos-thing carried on into my adult life. Not so much as a “I want to go there because it must be the most fabulous thing ever” to a “OMG, I love retro, I love kitsch. I must go to there.”

Well, I guess I’ve made it, kittens. My dream came true. Mr. Kinsey and I loaded up the car (we brought a wheelie cooler with us) and we spent the night in a glamorous Champagne Tower Suite at the Paradise Stream Resort in Mt. Pocono, PA.

For reference, this is what they showed in the guide books:

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He’s gazing at her adoringly. She’s so happy and serene!

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So in love. And bubbles!

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All kinds of GLAMOUR!

And this is was our reality…

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Yinzerella’s 2016 Guide to Dating

land of love

Yeah, right.

It’s been forever and a half since I’ve given you what you really want from me (aside from Brian); and that is a good dating story.

I haven’t given you once since early March.

(Post recap: 3 Tinder dates in 7 days. All disasters. I promptly deleted the Tinder.)

But anyway! After 4+ years of online dating and all the ups and downs, I have decided to give you, gentle readers, my own guidebook of the Do’s and Don’ts of dating.

Now, to refresh everyone’s memory, these are my minimal (so minimal!) boyfriend requirements–which apparently have been impossible to meet:

So here we go. These are some basic things that you should do and should not do while dating:

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Tequila Punch & Chili Buffet (1977)

My parents came into town over Memorial Day weekend and I threw a party so they could meet all of my friends (especially Manny!) whom they have heard many, many stories about but never met in real life.

I picked this Chili Buffet from 1977 because I could make everything in advance of the party and heat it up day of. Also, it was gluten-free (my mum has celiac disease).

Plus, tequila punch just said “beginning of summer!” to me. And it was hot as balls that weekend, so it really did feel like the beginning of summer.

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FYI, this may have been an exciting buffet dinner, but it sure has hell wasn’t cheap. That 5 pounds of round steak was over $40.

My buffet included all the accoutrements like cheese, sour cream, chips, salsa, scallions, lime, cilantro, and guacamole. Rick brought some deviled eggs which were a massive hit.

In addition to the beefsteak chili, my friend Kim brought a spicy chili with ground beef and kidney beans and I made an insanely good green chili with white beans from foodbabe.com for my vegetarian friends. I am seriously going to make the green chili again. It was that good.

Alas, me being me, I didn’t take any photos of the chili. Or the buffet. (insert sad Price is Right trombone).

I dunno what it is. When I’m hosting large parties I never take pictures of the food. But I have this photo:

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I love George’s giant stetson and my tiny sombrero

And this photo:

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I think I need to invest in tiny hats.

Yeah, so no photos of the food. BUT! you can watch me make the tequila punch by watching this video:

How was it? You gotta watch the video to find out! And while you’re at it, subscribe to my youtube channel!

 

 

Posted in 1970s, Beef cuts, Beverages & Cocktails, Food, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

PIEATHALON: Peanuts-and-Beer Pie

It’s here! It’s here! It’s the Pieathalon!

My assigned recipe was sent to me by Greg from Recipes4Rebels.

Alltime Favorite Recipes Cookbook

Published 1981

Peanuts-and-Beer Pie Recipe

“Peanuts and beer are frequent partners–for snacking, at the ball park, at parties. So what a natural idea it would be to combine peanuts and beer in a sweet dessert pie…”

I don’t know if it’s really a natural idea, but I was most definitely intrigued. Plus, one of the ingredients is unflavored gelatin. And you all know how much I love gelatin.

But for this pie, I’m just gonna go step-by-step (oooh baby! Gonna get to you giiiiiiiirl!)

STEP ONE! I didn’t roll out dough or bake anything. I bought a pre-made shortbread crust. Gimme a break. The high was in the mid 80s. I didn’t want to turn on the oven.

STEP TWO! Again, no baking. But let me introduce you to my sous chefs for the day:

Avery, who has resting bitch face that rivals Brian’s.

Avery the cat

And Buster.
Buster Buster is an absolute delight. Obviously. Look at that face.

And both kitties were completely fine with me loudly singing Tiffany and Debbie Gibson as I cooked. So, right on, cats.

Moving on!

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Posted in cookbooks, Dessert, Food, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hannibal Lecter’s Pork Liver w. Bacon

Hello, friends and fellow Fannibals!

Did any of you bid on some lots in the Hannibal TV show auction 2 months ago? I did. Because I am crazy and had money to burn (my fantasy team this year–Hannibal Lecter’s Facemask–went all the way).

A lot of great stuff was on the auction block–clothing, furniture, knives–but what I really wanted was some of Hannibal’s recipe cards (well, duh).

I was lucky enough to score 3 of them! And now I am going to make all of them for you.

First up is Pork Liver w. Bacon.

Hannibal Lecter's recipe for Liver

Weird thing about my purchase–the recipe cards have the ingredients for one dish on one side, and then the directions for a completely different recipe on the other!

So I had to Macguyver some shit to make this dish. I combed through a few of my cookbooks and took to the interwebs. So many of the recipes I came across included sage as an ingredient so I added that to Hannibal’s list. As for method, I just mashed a few techniques together and winged it.

Do you want to see how it all turned out? Click on the video! (p.s. there is bonus Brian at the very end).

Cheers! Bon Appetit!

Will be back on Wednesday for the excitement that is The Pieathalon!

pie sign

 

Posted in Beef cuts, Food, Knuckle Food, Recipes, television | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Jell-O Crown Jewel Dessert

Who’s ready for some Jell-O?

This recipe is from my original 1959 edition of the Joys of Jell-O. DSCN2177

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As is now tradition, every year I bring in a weird retro dish for my boss Kate’s birthday. In the spirit of last year’s Better Than Tom Selleck cake, I went with a theme. Because of his untimely passing, and because he is one of Kate’s all-time faves, I chose Prince.

It seems fitting to top a Crown Jewel Dessert with his Purple Highness, no?

Here you can watch how it all went down (which is not well):

Full disclosure: Right before this, Mr. Kinsey (the poor dude with the camera) and I visited a local brewery. We knocked back a few craft brews. Aaaaaaaand we may have continued drinking at my house. Just watch the video.

I did the grand unmolding the next day in the office lunchroom…

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Posted in 1950s, Dessert, Jell-O | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment