Happy National Picnic Day: Potato Salad

Posted on June 18, 2013 by

Hola, friends! Happy National Picnic Day!

This food holiday snuck up on me, so I don’t have anything brand-spankin’ new for you, but here’s a delicious dish from June 2011 that fits the bill. Perfect for picnics and cookouts, and it has BACON (and we all know that bacon makes everything better).  Here it is, in all its glory: 101. Potato Salad. 

I made this while I was home over Memorial Day weekend in 2011. We had a cookout at my parents’ townhouse and a lot of my family was in attendance. We served the standard summer cookout fare–hot dogs, hamburgers, grilled chicken, roasted corn on the cob, fruit salad, pasta salad, and PRETZEL JELL-O (the ultimate in Midwestern warm-weather potluck food. Do they make this anywhere else aside from PA and Ohio?). Well, I didn’t want an entire weekend to go by without my working towards my goal of completing Dinner is Served! So I decided to contribute the potato salad.

I really like potato salad. I mean, what’s not to like? The constants are 3 terribly tasty ingredients: potatoes, onions, and mayonnaise (oh how I love you, mayonnaise!). But I have never attempted to make potato salad–I guess because I’ve never had a reason to. But this was a perfect opportunity.

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Wordless Wiener Wednesday

Wordless Wiener Wednesday

Happy 80th birthday, Joan!

(photo from Bump’s Guide)

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Zumba Soup (Bacon Kale & Chickpea Soup)

Posted on June 10, 2013 by

I did Zumba for the first time last week. I went to because my friend Iris got me a comped 1 week pass at her gym out in the county (the county!). I figured that if I had the pass, I might as well use it, so I joined her for a class.

I am not a gym person. I find them intimidating, although everyone I know who goes to the gym (and it seems like more and more the people I know are gym people), they all say: no, it’s great! It’s fun! Everyone is so supportive. No one is looking at you!

I think I have a wedgie!

Yeah, but I’m looking at me. And I know that I don’t glisten when I get hot–I sweat. Like, Whitney Houston on stage sweat. And I turn red. Beet red. Like, omigod is she gonna have an aneurysm? red. I ain’t pretty.

You know how in the gym advertisements, everyone is fit and smiling and wearing spandex capri pants? Well, it turns out that the gym is totally like that–everyone is fit and smiling and wearing spandex capri pants.

But not me! I’m not fit nor smiling, and I sure as hell don’t own any sort of spandex.

This is what I wore to the gym:

gym clothes

That’s the hotness right there.

Fetching, no? Men’s basketball shorts drive the guys wild with desire, in case you didn’t know.

I must admit that I was lucky–not everyone looked like they fell out of a gym commercial,  because there were a lot of older ladies in my class, and they weren’t wearing spandex. But they were still totally more put together that me.

After this class I realized that my hips do not, in any way, shape or form, work in a sexy, figure 8, latina sort of way. Belly dancing will never be in my wheelhouse. All of the mambo/salsa choreography I somehow mutated into the Charleston and the Twist. There may have been a little Mashed Potato action. And all with little T-Rex arms. I couldn’t stop with the T-Rex arms.

I kinda looked like this (3:25):

Well, at least in my mind because we know that I didn’t look anything like that (see photo of me earlier in this post). However, long story short, I didn’t mind the Zumba. I didn’t mind the gym. I am actually considering getting a membership. So, FYI, hell has frozen over.

And now to the food part of this presentation!

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WINNER Wednesday: Drunken Caesar Pasta

Posted on June 5, 2013 by

One night, after an evening of mirth, merriment, and alcoholic libations, I arrived home and  decided that the snicky snacks I had as dinner weren’t enough for the night; so I was faced with the question (which we have all had): what can I make to eat with what I have in my refrigerator? 

Necessity is the mother of invention, kittens! And since I am so clever and resourceful I came up with a tasty treat that I could make with what I did have on hand (since I always have the ingredients for a Caesar Salad in my fridge): Drunken Caesar Pasta!

These are the ingredients (add everything to whatever level of flavors you enjoy):

  • pasta (I used penne)
  • 1 egg
  • red pepper flakes
  • fresh parsley
  • anchovy paste
  • garlic paste
  • Parmesan cheese
  • garlic paste
  • Worcestershire sauce
  • black pepper
  • lemon juice
  • Crystal Hot Sauce (or whatever hot sauce you like. But seriously, it should be Crystal)

caesar pasta

Basically, do what you would for a Caesar dressing and mix everything but the pasta in a bowl (no need to sautee because I used garlic paste and not actual garlic). Cook the pasta to directions. Reserve about 1/8 a cup to 1/4 a cup of pasta water–depending on how thin or thick you want the sauce to be. Drain the pasta. Put it back in the saucepan. Toss the mixed sauce in the pasta. Once served, top with a Parmesan, parsley, and black pepper.

It is spicy, savory, delicious, and filling. It’s basically a Carbonara/Caesar hybrid–but without the hassle of cooking bacon and onion. This is an easy (1 pot!) dish to do at the end of the night to get a little bit of carbs in you before you go to bed–or an excellent dish to make whenever you don’t know what to have for dinner and you don’t want to go to the supermarket.

Drunken Caesar Pasta

Darlings, if you don’t have the garlic paste or anchovy paste in your fridge, I recommend that you get some. They are excellent ingredients to have in your arsenal.

And because this was supposed to be a Wiener Wednesday:

tori

Even Donna Martin likes a good dog 

 

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Beverage Bonus: The Liberace

Posted on June 3, 2013 by

OMG you guys. Did everyone watch Behind the Candelabra?

Um, if you didn’t you need to get on some HBO ASAP or find someone who subscribes and then watch the shit out of it.

How can you not?

Behind the Candelabra has this:

Sheer Shirts, Sparkly Speedos: Behind The Candelabra's Best Fashion

Haaaaaayyyyyyy!

and this:

Sheer Shirts, Sparkly Speedos: Behind The Candelabra's Best Fashion

And I am totally not gay!

This:

Rhinestone Wangboy

Bust out the Bedazzler!

And THIS:

Yes, I am Rob Lowe.

Yeah, in case you don’t remember, Mr. Lowe starred in another one of my favorite TV movies looking like this:

I’m untouchable, bitch!

That man has range! Where is his goddamned Emmy?

Anyway, here’s the big question: how do the TV execs know when I’ll be home for a visit so I can watch big TV movies wtih my mum? They gave us the chance to watch the Lindsay Lohan train wreck that is Liz & Dick over Thanksgiving, and for Memorial Day we got Michael Douglas in an assortment of wigs and a lot of Matt Damon tushie. Thank you, Steven Soderbergh!

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May Foodie Pen Pals!

Posted on May 31, 2013 by

So after a few months of abstaining, I once again signed up for Foodie Pen Pals. I received a box from Amber, who is a college student in Virginia Beach. Here it is:

May Foodie Pen Pals

The contents included a beverage bonanza of English Breakfast tea, assorted cocoa, and caramel truffle coffee; along with some salty plantain chips and a box of Dutch caramel wafer cookies. A lovely care package, indeed!

Well, it’s too damn hot here in Baltimore for warm beverages of any kind–seriously, the 90s all week!!!–so I will be setting these aside for when autumn arrives. But I did have one of the caramel cookies. And sweet Christ on a cracker, these were delicious. And I can only imagine how decadent one of these puppies would be if floated on top of a cup o’ tea (per her recommendation). And I sampled the plantain chips–surprisingly good. And great if I have a hankering for something crunchy and salty while I’m slaving away at my desk.

Amber was also kind enough to include a recipe for a coffee cocktail:

Caribbean Coffee Martini

  • simple syrup (for garnish)
  • sugar (for garnish)
  • 1.5 oz dark rum
  • 1.5 oz coffee-flavored liqueur
  • 3-4 oz cold espresso or strong coffee
  • 8 ice cubs
  • 2 oz half-and-half or coconut milk.
  1. dip rim of glass into simple syrup
  2. dip covered rim into sugar
  3. in a martini shaker, combine the ice, rum, coffee liqueur, and espresso
  4. strain into glass
  5. top off the drink with a splash of half-and-half

Thank you, Amber! I will think of you come October once it is cool enough again to enjoy a comforting mug of hot chocolate!

Getting food in the mail is one of my most favoritest things ever!!!! Kids, do you think you’d be interested in getting edible treats by post?

Sign up for Foodie Pen Pals! Fill out the form HERE or click on the badge below or on the right side of this page for the rules and such.

The Lean Green BeanIt’s also pretty fun to put the boxes together, too. I sent Roselyn from St. Louis an Italian-themed box with gnocchi, sun-dried tomatoes, and seeds to grow her own window-box basil (with a few other little goodies as well). There is a $15 limit, but that just inspires you to be even more creative!

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Wiener Wednesday: Best Hamdogs

Posted on May 22, 2013 by

I am officially nominating myself for the Jerry Seinfeld Awards in Dating Excellence,  (Man-hands Category).

Why? Let me explain.

I was introduced to a friend of a friend who met all of my (seemingly low, but surprisingly difficult) standards:

  • Born before Bush Sr. was in office
  • Employed
  • No roommates
  • No children
  • Has lived places other than Baltimore
  • Likes cats

We went out a few times and he was nice and funny and I did genuinely enjoy his company. 

But there was one issue–he rolls like Morrissey* and thinks that meat is murder.

meatmurder

Moz, I swear, I won’t eat the kitten.

Yes, my friends, I deserve a Jerry Seinfeld Award in Dating Excellence,  (Man-hands Category) because I decided to stop seeing a perfectly fine dude because he is a vegetarian. 

Now hold on! Before you judge me too terribly, think about what I do as my hobby (and, let’s face it, my second job): I cook. A lot. Shit, I dedicate every Wednesday to wieners–as in tubes made out of meat–whether it be beef, pork, or turkey, snouts and lips and beaks and innards. I am a die-hard, give-me-the-nitrates-and-nitrates-offal meat-eater. 

I totally respect the decision to not eat red meat. Or poultry. It’s commendable.

But I love meat! And even if I ever did give up meat, I’d still want fish. And crustaceans. Shit, clams and oysters don’t even have eyes!

But, looking back on it, I guess the biggest issue was that he didn’t know what The Prime Rib is. And that is the happiest place on Earth! Plus, we could never go there. What the hell would he eat–a salad and a baked potato? As if!

I think this situation is exactly like someone who makes a dating decision based on religious grounds: whether it’s raising the kids Jewish or having an issue with someone who doesn’t believe in evolution. Except that at my church I worship at the altar of Oscar Meyer, Colonel Sanders and Mayor McCheese.

So, yeah. Deal breaker.

It seems fitting for this week’s Wiener Wednesday to make a treat that is a meat-stuffed hot dog wrapped in bacon.

That’s 3 types of meat in a bun!

From the 1967 edition of Better Homes & Gardens Barbecue Book, Best Hamdogs!

Best Hamdog recipe

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Wedding Ring Punch

Posted on May 15, 2013 by

Sorry, kids, but I am preempting Wiener Wednesday. I have some great news to share and, well, I just don’t have a hot dog dish. A girl can only take so many wieners!

And, yes, I know that I just walked into that one. But anyhoo, the exciting news:

Last week my younger brother got engaged! Which is very exciting. He is a wonderful guy and his bride-elect is a wonderful girl (by the way, I love that term. Bride-elect. Like there was a big tribunal and she was carefully selected from a roster of girls. Isn’t that what they did when deciding who to throw into the volcano?).

Anyway, in the course of a week it seems like everything has fallen into place: dates, venues, wedding party people, caterers–everything but the specifics, like colors (which I really hope are blush and bashful). A question: are weddings typically planned so quickly and efficiently? Is it just because the bride-elect is a wedding planner? I have no clue, since I have never been involved in anyone’s wedding.

Over the weekend my mum told me that she’s going to go gown shopping with the bride-to-be since the mother of the bride isn’t local. My mum is simply over-the-moon. And who wouldn’t be–trying on completely ridiculous dresses in a ton of fun!

But it’s a little sad for me because I feel that’s something that I won’t ever do with her. OK, I won’t say ‘ever.’ But let’s just say that the whole betrothed thing ain’t happening for me any time soon. At this rate, by the time I get married, my parents will be rolling down the aisle in wheelchairs. Shit, I might be in a wheelchair.

But! Fun fact: my brother asked me to be his “Best Person.” You know, the best man. This is one of the best things that could happen to me because no one–no one–is gonna get me to put on a dress that someone else picked out. Solution? Lady tuxedo.

I’m thinking something like this:

LADY TUX

Big hair + big shoes = BIG AWESOME.

or this:

clothing to combine with tuxedo trend Style of New Tuxedo as Women Fashion Trend of 2011

Well, not that short. I eat carbs. And drink booze.

But I pray to sweet baby Jesus that I don’t end up looking like this:

Fourteen-press-shot-1

Not that there’s anything wrong with this. I’m just not a 20 year old lesbian.

But there is a whole world of wrong with THIS:

celine

Jeezie creezie, Celine. You are never going to live that one down, are ya?

I have no idea where I can find a good lady tuxedo. Anyone know of some place I could get one? Can anyone recommend a good tailor in Baltimore?

Anyway, Wedding Ring Punch!

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Posted in Beverages & Cocktails, Brunch, Fruit, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

National Shrimp Day!

Posted on May 9, 2013 by

Yes, it’s true. May 9th celebrates the little crustacean known as the shrimp.

Today, let’s observe the holiday by looking back on 3 shrimptastic dinners from the DiS! card set. Click on the photos to read more!

108. Baked Stuffed Shrimp

108. Baked Stuffed Shrimp

I baked a kuchen and everything.

This dinner was notable for actually being a brunch. And also because I prepared it in honor of my friends Melissa and Trey’s nuptuals. Oh, and good news, they’re still married. Mazel!

18. Sweet and Sour Shrimp

my #18

Featuring Japanese mayonnaise!

This was on OK dinner–saved by my creative plating (pretty, right?). But the post was absolutely inspired because of the random Paul Lynde references. I don’t know why. He just popped into my head and I couldn’t get him out of there.

Click on over for the dinner, but stay for the company.

And speaking of Paul Lynde, here’s his (entire) 1976 Halloween Special. The Paul Lynde Halloween Special! I think it should be required viewing for everyone and anyone who says that they love kitsch. However, I suggest that one does so under the influence of a control substance. I’ve never seen the whole thing. I think I’ll save it for October.

witchy

But you want to watch it because there’s a Special Performance by KISS! (No. Really. KISS.)

And Betty White. (Of course.)

Oh, and maybe at one point Paul Lynde is wearing a studded outfit that makes him look like a hybrid of the leather guy and the sailor in the Village People.

Go to 15:20!

54. Shrimp Creole

dinner is served 044

This dinner also started my love affair with Crystal Hot Sauce.

This was one of my first dinners. And if I remember correctly, it wasn’t bad–the actual Shrimp Creole, that is. Number 54 also contains one of the most disgusting things that has ever come out of my kitchen–something that I actually described as “Satan’s Shamrock Shake.”

You totally want to see what that is, right?  Go check it out!

Posted in 1970s, Brunch, Food, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wiener Wednesday: Relay Foods Roly Polys

Posted on May 8, 2013 by

I know that because of my relatively high hot dog consumption, you’re all worried that I’m gonna get butt cancer from all those nitrate and nitrate-ridden weenies. But I found a butt cancer-free alternative that is tasty and is not one of those tofu dogs–I mean, doesn’t that sound like the worst? Tofu dogs!

Through my friends at Relay Foods I happened upon the Polyface Farms Uncured Franks!

Polyface Franks

These are a healthier option that is an actual hot dog. With real beef and pork and seasonings.

I had the perfect opportunity to showcase these a few weekends ago when Claire (you know her as a regular DiS! guest) and I hosted a party that was catered by Relay Foods.

I made, what I have named, Relay Food Roly Polys.

Relay Foods Roly Polys

(makes 48 roly polys)
  • 1 pkg of Polyface Farms Uncured Hot Dogs, cut into fourths
  • 1 pkg crescent roll dough, cut into 48 squares
  • 4 slices swiss cheese, each cut into 12 little bits
  • butter
  • assorted dried herbs (I made mine with stuff I already had in my kitchen, but you can follow your bliss and do whatever feels right to you)

Bake until they look all golden and buttery and delicious.

roly poly doughDSCF5259[1]

So yeah, it’s just pigs in a blanket. But I mushed some dried dill and marjoram and garlic powder and parsley black pepper into the dough. Shoved some Swiss in, rolled ’em up, and then brushed them with melted butter and sprinkled them with some poppy seeds. Fancy!

Roly Polys

I am sorry that I don’t have a great “after” photo, and this is a depleted platter (they were very popular–especially with the kinder set), but I was busy being a hostess and stuff.

The dogs were good. And since they are uncured, they looked like what meat would look like and not the color of Barbie flesh (remember those Vienna Sausages?).

Read on to see the tasty treats that Relay Foods and chef Kean Mcilvaine prepared for our soiree!

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