Yinzerella’s 2016 Guide to Dating

land of love

Yeah, right.

It’s been forever and a half since I’ve given you what you really want from me (aside from Brian); and that is a good dating story.

I haven’t given you once since early March.

(Post recap: 3 Tinder dates in 7 days. All disasters. I promptly deleted the Tinder.)

But anyway! After 4+ years of online dating and all the ups and downs, I have decided to give you, gentle readers, my own guidebook of the Do’s and Don’ts of dating.

Now, to refresh everyone’s memory, these are my minimal (so minimal!) boyfriend requirements–which apparently have been impossible to meet:

So here we go. These are some basic things that you should do and should not do while dating:

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Tequila Punch & Chili Buffet (1977)

My parents came into town over Memorial Day weekend and I threw a party so they could meet all of my friends (especially Manny!) whom they have heard many, many stories about but never met in real life.

I picked this Chili Buffet from 1977 because I could make everything in advance of the party and heat it up day of. Also, it was gluten-free (my mum has celiac disease).

Plus, tequila punch just said “beginning of summer!” to me. And it was hot as balls that weekend, so it really did feel like the beginning of summer.

tequila punch recipe.jpgchili buffet recipe.jpg

FYI, this may have been an exciting buffet dinner, but it sure has hell wasn’t cheap. That 5 pounds of round steak was over $40.

My buffet included all the accoutrements like cheese, sour cream, chips, salsa, scallions, lime, cilantro, and guacamole. Rick brought some deviled eggs which were a massive hit.

In addition to the beefsteak chili, my friend Kim brought a spicy chili with ground beef and kidney beans and I made an insanely good green chili with white beans from foodbabe.com for my vegetarian friends. I am seriously going to make the green chili again. It was that good.

Alas, me being me, I didn’t take any photos of the chili. Or the buffet. (insert sad Price is Right trombone).

I dunno what it is. When I’m hosting large parties I never take pictures of the food. But I have this photo:

tequila party.jpg

I love George’s giant stetson and my tiny sombrero

And this photo:

tiny hat.jpg

I think I need to invest in tiny hats.

Yeah, so no photos of the food. BUT! you can watch me make the tequila punch by watching this video:

How was it? You gotta watch the video to find out! And while you’re at it, subscribe to my youtube channel!



Posted in 1970s, Beef cuts, Beverages & Cocktails, Food, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

PIEATHALON: Peanuts-and-Beer Pie

It’s here! It’s here! It’s the Pieathalon!

My assigned recipe was sent to me by Greg from Recipes4Rebels.

Alltime Favorite Recipes Cookbook

Published 1981

Peanuts-and-Beer Pie Recipe

“Peanuts and beer are frequent partners–for snacking, at the ball park, at parties. So what a natural idea it would be to combine peanuts and beer in a sweet dessert pie…”

I don’t know if it’s really a natural idea, but I was most definitely intrigued. Plus, one of the ingredients is unflavored gelatin. And you all know how much I love gelatin.

But for this pie, I’m just gonna go step-by-step (oooh baby! Gonna get to you giiiiiiiirl!)

STEP ONE! I didn’t roll out dough or bake anything. I bought a pre-made shortbread crust. Gimme a break. The high was in the mid 80s. I didn’t want to turn on the oven.

STEP TWO! Again, no baking. But let me introduce you to my sous chefs for the day:

Avery, who has resting bitch face that rivals Brian’s.

Avery the cat

And Buster.
Buster Buster is an absolute delight. Obviously. Look at that face.

And both kitties were completely fine with me loudly singing Tiffany and Debbie Gibson as I cooked. So, right on, cats.

Moving on!

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Hannibal Lecter’s Pork Liver w. Bacon

Hello, friends and fellow Fannibals!

Did any of you bid on some lots in the Hannibal TV show auction 2 months ago? I did. Because I am crazy and had money to burn (my fantasy team this year–Hannibal Lecter’s Facemask–went all the way).

A lot of great stuff was on the auction block–clothing, furniture, knives–but what I really wanted was some of Hannibal’s recipe cards (well, duh).

I was lucky enough to score 3 of them! And now I am going to make all of them for you.

First up is Pork Liver w. Bacon.

Hannibal Lecter's recipe for Liver

Weird thing about my purchase–the recipe cards have the ingredients for one dish on one side, and then the directions for a completely different recipe on the other!

So I had to Macguyver some shit to make this dish. I combed through a few of my cookbooks and took to the interwebs. So many of the recipes I came across included sage as an ingredient so I added that to Hannibal’s list. As for method, I just mashed a few techniques together and winged it.

Do you want to see how it all turned out? Click on the video! (p.s. there is bonus Brian at the very end).

Cheers! Bon Appetit!

Will be back on Wednesday for the excitement that is The Pieathalon!

pie sign


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Jell-O Crown Jewel Dessert

Who’s ready for some Jell-O?

This recipe is from my original 1959 edition of the Joys of Jell-O. DSCN2177

As is now tradition, every year I bring in a weird retro dish for my boss Kate’s birthday. In the spirit of last year’s Better Than Tom Selleck cake, I went with a theme. Because of his untimely passing, and because he is one of Kate’s all-time faves, I chose Prince.

It seems fitting to top a Crown Jewel Dessert with his Purple Highness, no?

Here you can watch how it all went down (which is not well):

Full disclosure: Right before this, Mr. Kinsey (the poor dude with the camera) and I visited a local brewery. We knocked back a few craft brews. Aaaaaaaand we may have continued drinking at my house. Just watch the video.

I did the grand unmolding the next day in the office lunchroom…

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I’m The Angry Carnivore

In case you missed it (and if you follow me on Facebook and/or Twitter, I don’t know how you would have), I attended Baltimore VegFest over the weekend. And by attended, I mean that I was kidnapped by fellow blogger (and all-around asshat) Leonard Kinsey.

Yes, I am the Angry Carnivore in the title…and damn proud of it!

I will now counter VegFest (and everything soy and organic and kombucha) with a collection of my very favorite variety meat meals!

Click on the photos (if you dare!)

beef heart

Vincent Price’s Beef Heart Stewed

chicken liver

Chicken Livers in Sherry

defrosted tongue

Tongue (Italian Style)

Beef Kidney

Kidneys, Two Ways

There we go! I feel much better.

Suck it, Kinsey, you damn hippie.


Beef kidneys are a part of a complete breakfast

Posted in Beef cuts, Food, Knuckle Food, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes | Tagged , , , , | 11 Comments

Playboy’s Classic Champagne Cocktail

I’m still on vacation. I’m still chillaxing and enjoying the fact that I am done with the 1972 cards.

I’m celebrating, bitches.

And what is more celebratory than a little champs?


Enter Playboy’s Host & Bar Book by Thomas Mario (1971 edition)


And the recipe for the Classic Champagne Cocktail.

Playboy Champagne Cocktail

A little bubbles, a little bitters, a little lemon and boom:
champagne cocktailYou can see how the sugar just kinda floated to the bottom. It needed more than just the carbonation of the sparking wine to mix up the sugar and bitters. But whatever. A sugar cube would have worked much better.

This wasn’t terribly fancy, but I love anything bubbles, and this was no exception.

I now want to revisit the book and make every single champagne cocktail that Playboy and Thomas have to offer.

But before I do that, I want to start the 1973 cards. And for me to crack open the 1973 set sooner rather than later, why not visit my Patreon page to help get the ball rolling?

brian kills


I’m already a over a third of the way to my monthly goal (thank you, kittens!)!  If I hit that, well, then there will REALLY be a reason to bust out some more champagne cocktails!

And this. I will bust out this:


Look at that fucker. There are no words.

Except maybe for barf.


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99. Chicken-Aspic Vegetable Salad & the End of DiS! 1972

This is it, my friends. This is the LAST card.

And it is the one that we’ve all been waiting for, in all its shiny, towering, glory–No. 99 Chicken-Aspic Vegetable Salad!


3 whole chicken breasts
5 cups boiling water
4 chicken bouillon cubes
2 celery tops
2 carrots
2 sprigs parsley
1 small bay leaf
1 tsp. salt
2 tbsps. unflavored gelatin
3-1/2 cups cooked vegetables (asparagus, carrots, corn, brussel sprouts, celery)
1-1/4 cups mayonnaise
3 black olives
salad greens
tomato wedges

Place chicken breasts in a kettle. Dissolve bouillon cubes in boiling water; add to chicken, bring to boil, skim. Add next 5 ingredients. Cover, bring to boil and simmer until chicken is tender. Cool chicken and broth quickly. Remove skin and bones from chicken breasts (irregular pieces of chicken are combined with vegetables in mold) Skim fat from broth.

Soften gelatin in 1/4 cup cold water; heat until gelatin is melted then combine with 4 cups broth. Correct seasoning, chill until syrupy. Add cooked vegetables and chicken chunks to 3-1/2 cups of chilled broth. Pour into a 2-quart mold, chill until set. To remaining 1/2 cup* chilled broth add 1/4 cup mayonnaise, mix until smooth and pour over chicken breasts to glaze them. Decorate each breast with 1/2 black olive, chopped parsley and a sprinkling of paprika.

To serve: Unmold vegetable aspic, garnish with greens. Arrange chicken breasts on platter, garnish with greens and tomato wedges. Makes 6 servings.

Dressing: Thin remaining 1 cup of mayonnaise with a little chicken broth. Add lemon juice if desired.

*If broth sets, heat it a little before adding mayonnaise.

Here’s the unmolding!

As soon as it was released from its mold, it started to slowly collapse and inch its way to the end of the plate.

DSCN1828DSCN1829I would like you to notice that I did try to replicate the ring of asparagus in a pretty pattern around the mold.


A for effort.

Too bad that I shit the bed on the rest of it.

It needed more gelatin to hold its shape. I don’t know if that was my fault or the recipe’s.

I even made the glazed chicken breasts and painstakingly topped them with olives and parsley. I cut them bite-size in case they were edible and anyone else wanted to try them:


No one did.

99. was a momentous waste of food. It’s good that the rest of the food at my Christmas Parade Party Buffet was yummy.

But now I can say that I did it.

So, after five long years and 118 cards, we have officially come to the conclusion of Dinner is Served 1972… 

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Posted in 1970s, Chicken, Food, Jell-O, Recipes, Retro Food, Retro Recipes, Vegetables | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

9. Lentil Soup (with Orange Chiffon Cake)

March 30 is Turkey Neck Day.

And yesterday was Chiffon Cake Day.

So today I’m re-posting, all the way back from 2011, No. 9, Lentil Soup.

Because in it, I both cook with turkey necks and bake a chiffon cake.


Posted in Etc. | 6 Comments

The Emerald Cocktail

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

I don’t have a lick of Irish in me, nor do I typically go out on St. Patrick’s Day, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t celebrate in my own, small ways.

Last year I went to Rick’s house for corned beef, cabbage, and some Irish Cheer cocktails.

The Irish Cheer is essentially a Manhattan made with Irish Whiskey instead of bourbon or rye. And no bitters.

This is the Manhattan No. 2 from the Savoy Cocktail Book (1930):

savoy manhattan

If the Manhattan is named after the island on which New York City stands, it makes sense that the same drink made with Irish whiskey would be named after the Emerald Isle. Right?

So I made a Manhattan. But instead of Angostura bitters, I used orange bitters because orange is one of the colors of Ireland’s flag.

Here it is:

Emerald Cocktail

  • 2 jiggers Irish Whiskey (I used Jameson’s)
  • 1 dash orange bitters
  • 1/2 ounce sweet vermouth

Shake. Strain. Garnish with cherry. 

It would have been super-cool if I had green Maraschinos on hand, but I did not. And I don’t recall seeing those as of late.

Anyhoo, cheers! And don’t drink too much green beer!

Posted in Beverages & Cocktails, cookbooks, International Cuisine, Recipes | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments