Sooooooo, sometimes I will half-write a post, put it in my draft folder, and return to it at a much later date.
This is definitely one of those instances.
Yesterday I opened this post and had no idea what the hell I was reading. Turns out that what I discovered may be the greatest stream-of-consciousness/free-verse poem I’ve ever written. I mean, it’s really something.
ENJOY.
Bush bake beans
hunts snack pack pudding
mrs butterworth syrup
If only I had one of those items and that Dave guy, who I always get confused with Joe Izuzu. Subaru? Was that a car? Izusu?
This show is just pure insanity. I just watched a college kid and his mum have no idea that stouffer’s was in the frozen food aisle. They were wandering purposefully aimlessly.
This show is such a timewarp. oh the number of defunct 1990s food brands!
Fever dream of Price is Right, Word Jumble, Wheel of Fortune, and Pyramid and a Scavenger Hunt Double Dare obstacle course to top it off. BIG SWEEP It’s just insane.
OMG is this game bad. They LOVE a scrambled word game.
SIXTY SECONDS UP FOR GRABS
This or That? Earn 10 seconds if you are correct–wrong? Your opponents get 10. NO, you idiot. Ketchup has more calories than mustard. Obviously this guy has never had to do a weight loss program. Mustard is a dieting gal’s best friend.
LIQUID. BODY. WASH. Softsoap!
I love that they put them in color coordinated sweatshrit swith numbers on them like they are thing 1 and thing 2 and thing 3 from the Dr. Suess book. And, of course, they all have their collars sticking out.
JELLY BELLY and that International Bread Station–a giant pretzel!
olive oil is 23 dollars a container.
5 of each limited.
batteries and charcoal
I want a stuffed bonus Weinermobile!
“bounties of Tide!”
salien solutionf
stupid teenager forfeited a giant coca cola stuffed polar bear to try to grab a few more packs of huggies.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU/
Watching a grown man juggle 5 canisters of metamucil in his arms while trying to drag a giant pack of Big Red down the health and beauty aisle while a middle aged woman tries to wrangle giant gold-foil wrapped hams.
Was Pert Plus really that expensive?
Karen and Michelle with their mom hair and their mom jeans and their KSwiss sneakers.
OH,they got the Dove Soap. And the Campbell’s Soup. And the Arizona Iced Tea. I told you these ladies had this shit down on lock.
I’m into episode 3.
It’s wonderful. It’s wild, it’s amazing. You’ll never know what happens on Supermarket Sweep.
Shit, why don’t they bring this back?
I hate Guy Fieri, but I love GGG, I guess because it is the
A guy named Kris with a mustache barreling down the aisles trying to find magic Jello and get it back to the register in time. He nearly propelled himself into the frozen foods section. Dave Izuzu had to grab him by the arm so he didn’t take out the camera crew.
Sensible sweater sets.
I made this over the summer. The last time I touched this draft was in July, so I honestly can’t tell you if this was good or not. I’m just going to assume that it was. There’s a Jell-O mold for fucks sake.
And check this out–a 1967 episode of Supermarket Sweep. And here I was thinking that this was a product of the 90s!
I’ve given up and joined a boxed meal kit. I have enjoyed the convenience so far. FedEX had a brain fart last weekend and on a fully sunny day they didn’t deliver my box due to severe weather (???) That sun is scary, now! and it sat for 7 days just in the box with the slab of dry ice. Needles to say, the ice was liquid and the food just slightly warm. Shame too, there was duck breast in that box!!