Online Dating Year in Review

Happy New Year!

You asked for it–ok, no one asked for it–but based on your comments it seems like you all really get your jollies from my romantical follies (oh, I love rhyming!), so here is a quick rundown of the year that was Yinzerella’s first foray into the dark, scary (yet oddly entertaining) world of online dating.

Here, courtesy of, are my responses to some of the choice guys that I went out with this year:

The guy who told me (multiple times), “you’re so neurotic”:

Whatever. You’re buying.

The guy who called my accent quaint:

Um, you’re from the county, dude.

The guy whose shirt was unbuttoned enough to show off his gold medallions:

And, you look oddly like a ginger Roy Scheider

The guy with sleeves who complained about the fact that he was frequently asked about his tattoos:

You have sleeves, asshat!

The guy who sent me inspirational texts:

I never went out with him.

The guy who took the centerpiece flowers from a wedding:

Because, dude. No straight guy does that.

The guy who bitched about fat people the entire time:

Eat it. You’ll like it. Try the McRib!

And this:

So there was the 30+ guy with one female roommate. Whatever. But then there was the over-30 guy who had TWO female roommates:


And then the guy whose roommate was his ex-wife:

This is what it’s come to, people.

Finally, the guy who cried over the phone when one of his 50 million roommates moved out and took the cat:

And, grow a pair. I don’t know you well enough to hear you cry.

And that, my lovelies, is all she wrote. I got some guys in the pipeline for 2013, but I don’t know if I will choose to see them or not. But if I do, you know that you will have a front-row seat. I promise.

But seriously, after those dudes I’m feeling like Miss Milania here:


And to quote Miss Taylor Swift, “like, ever.”

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0 Responses to Online Dating Year in Review

  1. Jill says:

    You lie. Those have to be lies!

  2. Genius.

    I think I should just get you to do this whole thing all over again as a guest post on my blog – sounds pretty much like my year! Crazy times out there on the dating scene FOR SURE. My favourite date in 2012 was a guy who had a purple streak in his hair and fingernails all pointy and manicured. He carried a silver topped cane and wore very pointy shoes. He also talked a LOT about his tattoos. He wanted me to go on a really scary fairground ride with him after buying me three cocktails. I politely declined.

  3. Erin says:

    Loved this!

    While I find this hilarious, and love that you have humor through it all…it makes me so happy that I am married to an awesome man. Because at 32, if I was unmarried, I might just buy a dozen cats and skip dating altogether. Or I’d be so ridiculously blunt in my dating profile you’d have to be ballsy and awesome to date me. Because the world is full of people with questionable personalities! After those dates, you totally better understand why those people are still single. yikes. Here’s to 2013 being a much better dating arena for you!

  5. andreamynard says:

    Very funny! New to your blog from mycustardpie recommendation and it’s very entertaining, I do like your style.

  6. Lexi says:

    As a thirty-something single lady, I had no doubt that these dates were fo real. And that’s really sad, cause it means it’s like a global thing.

  7. Pingback: Is Your Date Behind This Door? | Dinner is Served 1972

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