105. Tuna Salad 3 Way

The title should read “3 ways,” but the typo was so funny it had to stay. Tuna Salad Three Way sounds like some bizarro porn that you would never  want to watch.

I am not afraid that now I’ll get weird hits on my blog; I already do. And nothing will ever top “Facebook Sluts Toledo Ohio.”

Now to the dinner at hand. So, have I mentioned that I hate canned tuna?  Canned fish is just gross. An abomination!

Now, Dinner is Served tricked me once with 80. Tuna on Toasted English Muffins. I actually liked that, which blew my mind. But I was skeptical that DiS! could make lighting strike twice.

Additionally, I used #105 as an experiment to see what the difference is between Chunk Light Tuna and Albacore White Tuna. Well, it turns out there’s A LOT of difference: the color, the texture, the taste. Sweet Christ on a cracker is the taste different! All the differences can be summed up in this equation:

Albacore White Tuna = Chicken > Chunk Light Tuna = Cat Food

OK, basic mixture: not bad. Not as tuna-ish as I expected. Perhaps the mixing of the albacore and the chunk light did that. I thought the initial mix was a little soupy from all of the mayo, but it tasted OK.

Here I split the tuna salad into 3 different bowls for the 3 way tuna.

First off, the Cantaloupe Tuna Salad. I didn’t toast the slivered almonds because it’s fucking hot in Maryland (however, I’m glad to see almonds make another appearance–it had been so long–too long!) As for the grapes, DiS! said nothing about chopping the grapes, so they floated in the mix like big beach balls. Weird.

When it came to the Tomato Flower, I didn’t have dill seed, so I used dill weed. And I don’t know what ‘fresh’ cucumber pickled is, and Safeway sure as hell wouldn’t have it, so I went with a good ol’ kosher dill. I ended up using a lot of dill weed. Like, 2 teaspoons of it. I don’t know if my herbs were just old or if the tuna masked a lot of the dill flavor, but I had to put a bunch in there to even taste it.

For the Avocado Cup, I was going to just fill the avocado half with the basic mixture since I do not eat grapefruits. But then I thought What goes with avocados? Mexican food goes with avocados! So I did the only rational thing and put a few tablespoons of jarred salsa and a sprinkling of cumin in it.

Everything went into the fridge to chill. And then I went into the living room to chill and watch another episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and drink some rum and pineapple juice.

Have I mentioned that I love Buffy? Like The X-Files, it’s one of those shows that I watched first-run and enjoyed so much that I decided to watch again. I’m on the last season and, unlike The X-Files, Buffy held up for the most part; there aren’t as many groan-worthy moments, and that’s saying a lot since it is a show with vampires.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer   is  funny, smart, and the female lead is just that–the lead. Buffy Summers makes decisions, she makes mistakes, she makes jokes and she saves the world.

A lot.

And her vampire boyfriends don’t sparkle. Sunlight makes them burn.

Blow me, Bella Swan.

Another great thing about the show is Spike, who just is the bees knees. And who I am still totally in love with (like I am with Mulder). Go to the 6:20 mark, where the real action starts.

Good heavens. That was a lot of thrusting for a network show 10+ years ago. Is it hot in here?

OK, now for the finished products!

My recreation of the original card ain’t too shabby this time around.

The salads were much better than I expected, but they were still tuna salad. The grape/cantaloupe/almond one was too damn sweet. And sweet is a flavor I don’t want matched with fish. The tomato/dill/pickle was much better, but like I said: still tuna salad. After my sampling, I tossed the rest.

The exception was the Avocado Cup–I ate that the next day for lunch. But of course I liked the avocado cup best. Because I made it up. And I am awesome.

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20 Responses to 105. Tuna Salad 3 Way

  1. mum says:

    you are indeed awesome.

  2. dillon says:

    dude, this girl is only about to start Buffy Season 5. You gotta put spoiler warnings on that shit… (10 years later, and yes… I still want spoiler warnings…)

    I have irrational fear of tuna salad. The smell makes me gag.

    And of course, you are awesome. That goes without saying…

  3. veg-o-matic says:

    Mmm, I loves me some tuna salad: straight up, without any of the froufrou.

    I could send you a recipe for the fresh cucumber pickle if you’d like. It’s quite easy and quite delish.

  4. Albacore White Tuna = Chicken > Chunk Light Tuna = Cat Food INDEED! Albacore is the only way to go if you are going to eat canned fish. And now I want to watch Buffy episodes all day. I may have to take a day off just to have a Buffy marathon.

    • Yinzerella says:

      This weekend I’ve gotten through most of the last season. I have no idea what show to watch next. Probably something Sci-Fi/Fantasy, since it seems that’s been my jam as of late.
      Any suggestions?

      • My new scifi fave is Lost Girl on the Scyfy channel. It’s about Fae. The show actually originated in Canada and it’s got a huge following over here now. Love it! There’s all kinds of weird stuff that goes on.

  5. iamsurly says:

    Cantaloupe Tuna Salad? This offends me.

    Oh. And Riley was a huge waste of a story line.

  6. fifi says:

    Albacore has more mercury in it 🙁 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albacore

  7. fifi says:

    Oh and fresh pickles are a kind of pickle you can get from a good pickle vendor. I remember them from when I lived in NYC, there were fresh, sour, half-sour, dill, hot, not-so-hot, sweet, kind-of-sweet, etc. There are a lot of pickle types out there. You can make fresh pickles yourself. http://www.thehungrymouse.com/2009/06/10/quick-fresh-pickles/

    • Yinzerella says:

      The grocery store that was walking distance for me in Pittsburgh had a PICKLE BAR and it was just the best. I loved the fresh pickles. Thanks for the recipe. I need to make those ASAP!

  8. Michelle says:

    Once again, you have almost made me spit out my wine. Too funny.

  9. Maureen says:

    I’m new to your blog, and I love it! Came over for the Church Lady Casserole challenge! Buffy is on of my favorite shows of all times, I too love Spike. Or Spoike as Angel used to pronounce it 🙂

    Have you seen Firefly? Another great series by Joss Whedon. I also LOVED Battlestar Galatica, I watched it all on DVD which I am so thankful for, I would have dying in between seasons if I had watched it when it originally aired.

    • Yinzerella says:

      Hi Maureen! I really hope that you’ll come back and visit again.
      I have had a lot of people tell me to check out Battlestar Galactica. I probably will once I get a netflix account going again.

  10. alx says:

    Chunk Light tuna is the healthier. Solid white tuna has 3x the mercury levels of chunk light.

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