I would love to say that this is going to be a rip-roaring, rollicking post about meat sauce. But the fact of the matter is this: it’s 94 degrees out with a heat index of 101. I basically want to just drink cold beer and fall into a Real Housewives coma (2010 NYC on right now. Jill Zarin is about to figure skate–and what the hell ever happened to boring event-planning-Jennifer? Was that her name?). But I should just forge ahead and write about #20 Meat Sauce for Spaghetti. Well here goes.

I started around 6 pm with the goal of having dinner ready around 8:30 when I expected Cleve to be home.

I have transcribed the exact notes that I scribbled while cooking:

• 1 lb 1o oz ground beef
• shitake mushrooms
• olive oil spray instead of actual EVOO
• added a lot of extra garlic and a lot of extra onion
• why am I tossing the ground beef in flour (corn starch)?
• with a full lb of meat am I making sauce or a meatloaf?
• gravy=pasta sauce=NJ housewives=Specs & Marie
• Cooking @high w/ wine. Used a Chianti. Well they’re all from Rufina, right? 2009 bottled by Renzo & Masi. I know not.
• 6:42 everything is done and on low heat. Will put time on for 1 hour.
• I’ve already put the other cup of bouillon in because the sauce looks like chili!
• 8:35 and Cleve hasn’t yet arrived. Which is the beauty of this dish. I will drop the pasta, assemble the salad and make the toast upon his arrival. In the meantime there is wine.

Translation???

I had that much ground beef so I reserved the other 10 oz. I used dried Shitake mushrooms because the recipe called for dried mushrooms and that’s what I had. Yeah, this was a lot of meat for a pasta sauce and I think the corn starch will make it even thicker. It’s Italian food so I thought about the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Do they call sauce gravy? I think my Aunt Marie did–although she wasn’t Italian, she married a guy named Al who was Italian and who was a bookie and his nickname was ‘Specs.’ (pretty cool, eh?). Why didn’t we call it ‘gravy’ growing up? Why don’t I have an Uncle Carmine? I couldn’t quite figure out the name of the wine. Is Rufina the region? Wow this sauce is thick. It looks like chili. Thank God I chose a DiS! that can sit for a while because my boyfriend is always home much later than he estimates. Oh, wine!

DINNER IS SERVED!

This was good, albeit really, really thick. But that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. I would never have thought of using dried mushrooms in a tomato sauce (especially Shitake), but it worked. They’re meaty and held up against all of the other ingredients.

And the other elements were super-easy. Almost afterthoughts. Salad? Done. Garlic Bread? Done. Fruit and Cheese? Hell yeah that was done. And with pleasure. There might be nothing that I love more than cheese. Well, maybe my new CHEESE PLATE! Authentic 1970s Spice O’ Life patterned cheese plate that I got at Goodwill for a whopping $3.

For my plate I combined apples, grapes, Wasa crackers, light Brie and a lovely blueberry infused semi-soft cheese called Yorkshire Wensleydale. It was expensive but worth it. Yum. Yum. Yum. Yum.

This recipe made a TON of sauce so I froze a lot. I will be getting a lot of meals out of #20. I already used some to make a pizza on a ball of whole wheat pizza dough I got from Arganica. And that was delicious, too.

I am now done. There is a Lifetime Movie on starring Marilu Henner as an evil widow that is about to start.